So you want to be noticed in this world with your writing? Things are easy:

1. It has to be a list

Majority of people are too lazy to read undivided text nowadays.

2. Keep it short

Majority of people are too lazy to read a lot of text nowadays.

3. Use graphics... a lot

To be honest, majority of people are too lazy to read at all.

Don't worry, the graphics can be completely random.

4. Name your article, using phrases like "you will be shocked"

It doesn't have to be true necessarily. Just keep throwing those words like "shock" or "least expected reason" and you will do just well.

5. State the obvious in your list

For example, if you are writing an article about how to pick a good Christmas present, make sure to advice people to know their budget. Talk about it for a while and say that it is super important... because, who in the world would have guessed it?

If you are writing about how to read a book, make sure to state that you need a book to read it. People love (need) to know this stuff.

6. Know your budged

7. Divide one thought into at least

8. Two paragraphs

This technique will save you much time. Also, when you master it, people won't even notice that your are doing it.

9. Remind people how shocking is your findings

Yes, we all know that you are writing useless and obvious information. People might notice it sooner or later, so it super important to remind them that your article is actually shocking and will change their life forever.

10. Keep using those trending phrases and words

YOLO... or am I too late with this one? Anyway, people want to have a feeling that they are reading article of a wicked cool content creator, so always be up to date with those vague, brainwashing, meaningless phrases.

11. Mention some celebrities

Brad Pitt, Sam Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, Donald Trump - they all follow those rules too.

12. Write something controversial to spark a discussion

You see how I mentioned that Donald Trump is following those rules too? People must now say "I don't want to be like that man, so your article is wrong", I will reply "But he is successful, isn't he?". This kind of shit attracts audiences.

13. Use simple words

Majority of people are too lazy to think.

14. Choose a trending topic

You don't even have to know anything about it. That is why this format of articles writing was created - so that everyone could write low quality article on stuff they don't have a clue about, and still sound professional.

So never, I repeat - NEVER, try to impress people with your original thoughts and topics. Write stupid stuff about meaningless topics and reach for the stars.

15. Save the best for the last

Yup, first and last point are the most important. "Why?" someone will ask, and I will only reply

It is obvious that you did not read whole article. I said - majority of people are too lazy to read whole text.

So that is the way to success my friends. Such a funny world we are living in, huh?

*** All the gifs are taken from giphy.com ***

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