Reptile-In-Law - Tinfoilraps entry

I found out my sister in law is a reptilian
When it’s cold you can see her lizard skin
She moved to the UK from South Africa
So I am really not sure what she is after

She describes things a bit too often as “earth”
Like this isn't her planet of birth
But I got suspicious when she knew
Of all the missing people who were local

She says she hasn't been here before
So this is definitely something more
So I watched when she thought she was alone
And heard her speaking alien on the phone

"Humans taste biosinating,
Simple things not worth eating,
Their stringy tendons stick in the teeth
And they're more bones than meat"

She doesn't eat "animals" any more
We aren't the taste she was looking for
She met a flat earther last year
She laughed so much she was in tears

He tried to tell her how earth looks from space
And if you could have seen the look on her face
It was so obvious that she knew
How earth looks from a space view

It takes months for her to get a passport
Cos hers isn't the earthly sort
They have to ship it across the solar system
And then add a photo with her human skin

I once asked her is abductions were real
And she joked "well, we like to cop a feel"
She then went on to explain
They like to study human pain

They take people in the dead of night
Beam them up into the light
Just to watch when they are returned
And no one believes all they learned

I have told everyone we know the truth
She is an alien in a human suit
I don't know why no one believes me
They should trust me I’m illuminati!!!

My tin foil raps entry, you can't beat a good conspiracy, and I have been adamant for years she is definitely a reptilian, she freely admits it now. Most of this poem is true, her lizard skin, eating habits, encounters with flat earthers, local knowledge of an area she is new too that is so how better than the locals, and her passport, which to take so long must be coming from another planet. But most of all, she is far too nice to be a real human - so i am very pleased to be able to dedicate this entry to her. She is also a superhuman proof reader, if you needed any more evidence. Oh and she collects earth animal bone specimens which she treats with crazy chemicals that could only be to stop the spread of earth bacteria when they a shipped to the homeworld. That said, I wouldn't change her for anything, turns out the reptilian shape-shifting, brain-washing, over lords make for amazing friends.