The intention of good and better

I am a person who believes that the way I live my life matters, even though I have no interest at all in heavens, hells, reincarnations or whatever else one might consider an afterlife. For me, when I consider my life traveling from one moment to the next, how I got there counts.

Am I a good person?

Have you ever asked yourself that and actually reflected upon the answer? I don't mean to throw a cursory thought at it and leave the heavy layer of bias to protect the ego, but to actually consider what you have done, how you treat people and whether your thoughts, words and actions are of a high enough quality to consider yourself, good.

Yes, "good and bad" are subjective but when it comes to the evaluation of ourselves, subjectivity is all we have and if under investigation we discover that we aren't nearly as good as we have thought ourselves to be, what does it mean if we then choose not to change?

I am far from good in my own eyes and I do not thing anyone is beyond reproach in the eyes of others as perspective is tarnished by preference and we all have a different hierarchy of what we like and dislike and what we are willing to do to get what we want.

While I like anyone can be cruel, most of my "non-goodness" in my own eyes is through my inability or failure to do more toward the things I want to see more of in the world. I also feel that I do not spend enough time on my own needs, my own development and betterment. I believe that this is both nurture and nature as my father was very much the same and, it cost him and others around him.

As I believe we only have one life to live, I consider that how we evaluate our own life lived is among the most important things we can do as it looks to discover who we truly are, if we go deep enough. While we are encouraged to have an external frame of reference, we are losing our ability for self-discovery of our position in this world. Everyone is looking for their purpose in life, while not doing what they can with what they have right now to make it as meaningful as they can.

While in the grand scheme of things our individual actions will be meaningless and forgotten over time, all action has an influence on the directions of the next step, and therefore our very evolution as a person and species. While we all might have the propensity for violence, the fact that there are more births than murders speaks that we have evolved to cooperate and live in a community, and natural selection has supported this growth.

Does it mean that there aren't problems? Of course not, but if evolution is the quest of survival and improvement based on conditions, there is nothing that says that we are at the end of our evolutionary path. Well, other than our own inability to manage resources and developments to improve the global community, rather than threaten it with species extinction through weaponry and a blatant disregard for the environmental conditions we require for survival.

It is easy to judge others as one can never actually know the full story of judgement but, what if the person really is striving for their best in each moment of their existence, it is just that their best isn't good enough. Maybe there is a question of intention that should be brought into the equation as part of the evaluation process, at least for the self, but this would have to be done earnestly.

If I intend to do good and do all that I can in process to ensure a good outcome, what does failure mean? Is it failure to give one's all and still come up short? It would depend on how one looks at it and from a computer code perspective, if the calculation does not add up, it has failed. But from a human perspective if one lives the best life they can live and still not reach the desired outcomes, is it the waste of a life?

I don't think so.

I do not think that dying without reaching goals is shameful, I do not think it is a waste of life. What I do think may be a waste of opportunity however, is not attempting to live the best life possible with the reflection and sensitivity to understand that what might be good today, may be harmful tomorrow, and what is harmful now could well be helpful at a later point. A great deal of the problems we face in this world are due to alignment issues, but if we cannot even align ourselves personally - solving the issues that affect a community is a highly difficult feat to achieve.

However luckily, we don't have to solve it as individuals as by design, a community is required to find solutions that affect the community. Having said that though, a community is just a collection of individuals who choose to be in proximity so, what we each do, matters.

I worry about the health and safety of my family, I worry about my work, finances and whether I can cover the bills in a flailing economy, I worry about the state of the environment, the usage of global resources and the social problems that we face of so many kinds. The only thing I don't worry about is my own willingness to attempt to leave this world in a better condition for having me be a part of it, and when the balance sheet tallies, I intend to have a net positive effect on this world by doing my best today and bettering it the best I can tomorrow.

It doesn't always work out as intended.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]