Did she see me?

The benefit of being anonymous on the internet is that it drastically reduces accountability for what is said which means people can be brave or, crueler than they might be otherwise. After all, on the internet, no one knows you are a dog.

Having said that, I am not anonymous, I don't hide, I am accountable for my words and actions and the one the standard I hold myself to, doesn't even have the ability to read yet, but it won't be long.

As I see it, one day my daughter is going to have access to my words here, she is going to read my articles, murder stories and love poems. She will have be able to follow conversations and relationships and see how I treat people, treat the platform and of course, get a sense of who I was during various stages of my life journey.

Her view of her father may change significantly once she deep dives or, she might have no conflict between what I wrote and how she has learned to know me. She might recognise her father in the text, no matter what it says.

My hope is that if she does ever choose to read this long and labour intensive chapter of my life she will see the starting point and be able to follow the breadcrumbs to whatever the future will hold. She will trace the origins of me, her mother and ultimately herself as knowing me better helps her better understand who she is as inevitably and perhaps unfortunately, I am likely going to be one of her role models in life.

At this point, I am not embarrassed or ashamed by my thoughts placed on this Blockchain but in two decades from now in a changed world, who knows how my thoughts will appear to her. Will they be like bad fashion choices seen in old photos or, poor cultural programming like the behaviours of racist grandparents before political correctness forced self-censoring?

I can't say what will come of it all but with something like 20 full-length novels of my thoughts written on this Blockchain, there is a lot of room to look very, very stupid in the eyes of perhaps the only person I don't ever want to look stupid in front of. Silly, funny, old-fashioned, out of date, lame... They are fine.

I wonder if like a teenage being kissed goodbye from a parent in front of friends, when she read this she will be embarrassed by me. At least, I hope it helps her get perspective add build understanding in a way that makes her life a little better.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
_{(posted from phone)}