It's your choice

in #thoughts6 years ago

This image depicts exactly how my weekend finished last night...I took the photo at Semaphore, the beach near where I live, and we'd been there walking and swimming. It was very hot day yesterday, a sign of things to come I guess, although hot days give way to warm nights and what better place to be then on the beach with my lovely wife. It was relaxing and we felt engaged, with each other and life.

Monday has an annoying habit of coming around every seven days or so and, like every week before, this week is no different. It's almost 7am Monday morning and after a 5am wake-up, walk and some breakfast I'm just about to head into the office for an early start. I'm pausing long enough to tap out this quick post.

I don't have much to say this morning however had a phone call from a friend last night who gave me some bad news and it made me want to share something.

My friend lost his mother yesterday, she was 82. He has been estranged from his mother for almost 30 years, over a financial matter, and hasn't spoken a word to her in that time. His sister called him with the news and all of a sudden he felt a sudden desire to talk to his mum, to erase the ill-will he held for her and to make up for 30 years of silence. Of course, it's too late for that and he is quite cut-up about it.

Regret makes a poor companion I think, although it is loyal in that once it comes calling it's very difficult to get rid of. Living with regret is a terrible thing, as my friend will find out I think.

Now is not the time to raise this with my friend of course, however it was a great reminder to seek a better day today than yesterday, a better version of myself. To show kindness, humility, courtesy, gratitude, forgiveness in my friend's case...

When I leave my house today, I'm giving my wife a hug, not just the kiss on the cheek I normally would. I will tell her that I'll miss her that I'll call to let her know when I'm on my way home. I'll say, "I love you," just like every day when I leave...The thing is, we never really know if we will come home, if we will have another chance to say those things, to make amends for a stupid argument or the simple failure to say anything at all. Sometimes life takes that opportunity away.

Life is full of surprises, and not all of them are good - I value mine, and seek to live the best version possible...My friend's phone call, his predicament, was a small reminder of that. It's not for everyone though and nothing I say, or suggest, could make people unwilling to live their best life, actually do it. It's simply a choice we must all make for ourselves.

Have a great day y'all...Friday isn't far off.


Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default

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The difficult part is when you try to constantly do things to help someone, family of course, and they just keep burning the bridge. Eventually that bridge doesn’t get rebuilt. That’s the situation I am nearly at. Will it be as long that I don’t talk to them? I don’t know but it’s hard to regret when people throw their chances right in the toilet.

Hey yeah I get it completely! Really, I know first-hand. I always say...

"If something or someone is negative don't go as often and don't stay as long. If you can avoid going altogether then do that."

This goes for family too in my opinion.

Sometimes people get to a point that it is better they are out of your life. It's a brutal decision, but one I'm able to make. As long as one is comfortable with it then so be it. I've done it in the past, reversed it and reinstated it...That's part of the choice we have to make.

Thanks for your comment, it's an important thought.

First, what an amazing photo and place in which you live!
And, what a powerful message, especially at this time of year when one might send out a holiday card, or find some way in which to reach out. Now, I've said, out twice so I think that's what we are called to do, reach out with our light and shine before there's no chance left. Yes, just repeating what you've already written, but writing the comment helps me get it in my own way--a reiteration.

Thank you Kimberly, I am fortunate to live in a lovely location, and to have the motivation to step out of my door, away from the distractions of society, and into the world. I'm also glad I have a camera I can put on auto mode, point and shoot. That's what I did with this image and luckily it came out. 😬

do, reach out with our light and shine before there's no chance left. Yes, just repeating what you've already written, but writing the comment helps me get it in my own way--a reiteration.

There's no harm in repeating what I said...That's how we keep it front of mind. We all need this reminder and I got one last night when my friend called. He has a long road ahead, but he'll have regret for company I guess...I work towards making regret find someone else to pester.

Reaching out a little isn't difficult, however some find it so due to the constraints of ego, pride, hubris and fear...Many just can't express themselves. I don't have that problem, and seemingly neither do you.

Thanks for reaching out and commenting. There's so many great people here, a true collective of minds. I like it.

Have a great week K.

Gave you an upvote, but I see it's not even worth a cent today ;) Still, you know...Thanks for the well wishes and my weekend was nice.
Your friend may not take a long and slow road, but could be an epiphany for him, one in which he decides this current way simply no longer works? Yes, so easy to just stick in the ruts we're in/used to, but it's like all of those Christmas stories in which a character finally figures it out.
Forgive the clip, but it's the one that came to mind :)

Hey there, thanks for the vote...It's the thought that matters, not the value...

Yes, my friend has a long road but I hold hopes that it will have an impact upon how he approaches and travels that road. That epiphany you speak of.

Thanks for the clip and I wish you the best day you can design for yourself today.

It's still Sunday in here, 2300, and I have to say that I like a lot the pic from this post. In regards of the story of this post I will say that a big ego and the stubbornness to feed that big ego, and a decision taken in a moment of anger, might transform in a bitter poison for one's soul. I have experienced on my own that grudges are not the medicine for anything. Especially for family members. Everybody makes mistakes, no exception, and everybody can forgive others mistakes, no exception. Indeed, sometimes it's too late...

Yes, ego, pride, hubris, stubbornness...All negative aspects of life that for some have deep implications. You've said it nicely and are someone who has obviously learned through your own experiences. Many don't though. Thanks for commenting.

I'm sad for that situation, what a loss.

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Yes, it's a bit sad, but a good example of a person making a choice then having to live with the implications of it. I can recall having conversations with him about it and how adamant he was that he won't speak to her again...Well, he was right...He won't. But the thing is he is very regretful. Not having the chance to say things one wants to...I wonder how he's going to deal with it.

Thanks for sharing. It makes me sad, but in a positive way.

Yes, it's a pity he wasted all those years, however we are all different and make choices in life that have to be dealt with later. He made his choice and will need to live with it.

Sound like a wonderful day overall. Beach, family, and fun always seem to go well together.

I agree...I managed to catch natures free show too...The sunset. It was a nice way to end the weekend although the dreaded Monday came around quickly and as I sit here in my office...Wouldn't mind weekend rewind!

Thanks for commenting, I greatly appreciate it.

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Hey @galenkp, here is a little bit of BEER from @axeman for you. Enjoy it!

So sorry for your friends loss, him and myself seem to have been through the same thing. I fell out with my parents over 20 years ago, we never had a relationship. I didn't find out she had died until 3 days after, i didn't feel anything and still dont. I do know i could never do that with my daughters, we argue but are soon back to speaking.
I hope your friend finds some peace, its a difficult situation for him. :(

It happens, to so many people and it's not for others to judge you know? Things happen between people, families too, and it's really only the business of those involved.

My mate is going to be ok, although he will carry that regret with him forever. I have't spoken to him but will see him at the funeral. I hope he is ok, it will be difficult for him. He's a good mate so I'll be there for him, like I would with anyone I guess.

I would never judge anyone? Every family is different and every situation is different. I was talking about my family, my mother fell out with her mother history repeated with me and my mother but i won't let it happen to me and my daughters.

Sorry, my comment wasn't meant to indicate you were judging, but I can see now how it might read that way. Not my intention though.

Your OK. I didn't take it nastly just clearing things up 😁

Ah cool...Thanks..😎

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