You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Jeff Buckley Lives On - Day 133 - Daily Haiku - Grace for Drowning Part 6, with additional info and another haiku
Abandonment. Why. You raise an issue that haunts me - my mom's brother cut all ties with his family, left the Midwest for California. and never came home again. Mom wrote him letters; he never wrote back. They'd never quarreled. He just... shut the door on his childhood and family. We can speculate, but we don't get to know why. Thanks Cori for your objective and more compassionate look at a 19-yr-old dad (just a kid himself!) who's been maligned for neglecting his son. We just don't know but we just love to judge (most of us)!
Irony yet again. My eldest sister did the same. Left California in her late teens, moved several states away, never called or wrote. We had no contact with her for years, until her first child was born, when she relented and sent us an announcement. No further word.
She did keep in contact with our grandmother in New Mexico, from whom we would occasionally hear that she was okay, but that was it.
I reestablished contact with her as an adult, at which point she said "I'll never let go of you again" . . . and then I never heard from her. Our only contacts were initiated by me, with one exception; a long and heartfelt letter she sent me when my first marriage broke up.
But then, when she discovered how wide a gulf there was between our political beliefs, she first called me naive, then turned me into a "villain," and finally cut ties again. The one semi-funny part was when she accused me of acting like I was twelve, when I called her out for violating her own stated beliefs, and then unfriended me on Facebook. Sigh.
For my part, I let her know when my cell phone number changed, and she texted me to acknowledge it, so that's where we stand. The door is open on my side, and I've let her know it, which is all I can do for now.
For her part, she remembers nothing good about our family or childhood, California was only a nightmare and had nothing good to offer, which is a far cry from my own childhood memories.
But part of life is that we become what we choose to give power to, and I choose (in my best moments) to give power only to the good I remember, and to let the rest recede into the noise.
She appears to have chosen the opposite tack, which she has every right to do. But, still, I miss her.
I choose (in my best moments) to give power only to the good I remember, and to let the rest recede into the noise. - You are wise beyond your years! I keep trying to do this - remember only the good - but my brain starts blocking things indiscriminately, and I forget (total blackout!) stuff I want or need to remember. I'm so sorry you have a sister who is alive and well but keeping the door shut on you. One of my sisters is only one remove away from that. She shows up a few times a year for holidays, but she keeps us all a 10-foot-pole or more away. Sad!