How to Start Changing Someone's Point of View

"How to Start Changing Someone's Point of View," is the title of a workshop I gave recently. As a coach and trainer, I have found that it's most effective to equip my trainees with this one piece of advice before they begin working with me: "We're all guilty of our own kinks...to begin fixing the broken heart of the one we love..."

This was my thought when I decided to address a couple with a new relationship. In their first meeting I told them, "I can't pretend you're perfect the first time we meet. We're all human. I can't fix you."

This is not to say that it was easy to begin working on their love life when they walked into my office, when the weather was nice. It took several days for my clients to accept that my client was not "perfect." It took them time to realize they were not flawed. And as time passed, their perceptions of who I was changed dramatically!

Everyone has a story...everyone has a story, and the story that we tell ourselves is our story. When we begin to consider our lives and learn more about ourselves, our value as individuals are transformed. But, what about the person we are treating? He or she has every right to hear that we love them, but he or she does not love themselves!

To start changing someone's point of view, you must address this one unaddressed issue. What are you NOT capable of? The same goes for your partner! Take stock of what you are capable of and what you ARE NOT capable of.

Are you willing to start taking care of yourself before you take care of your new relationship? It took time for the first few meetings to develop, but if you feel the obligation of caring for yourself before you share time with someone, you won't be looking for excuses when something happens. After all, that's what you do when you need time away. If you don't take care of yourself, you will ask them to take care of you! Time off!

All people are made up of goodness and badness. We can only grow in spite of what others might think of us. Even the beautiful princess of Beauty and the Beast wasn't always so pretty! But, she did find love with Gaston! So, the Cinderella of Snow White was also transformed and became the beautiful young woman we know today.

When you can start taking care of yourself first, doesn't matters whether you have a new relationship or a new job. You will find your life with love!