Part 2 is up!

This story is part of @thewritersblock writer workout challenge. We each picked a fairy tale and retold the story from an ancillary character's point of view. The challenge here was writing in deep POV or third person limited. It's like telling a story as if the narrator is fixed smack dab on the main character's head. Please enjoy my retelling of the Pied Piper of Hamlin.

_{Original image by Kate Greenaway; Modified by me}

Elke stared, mesmerized, at a young boy dancing through the shadows in the alley behind the church. With an awkward twirl, he stumbled, rounding the corner heading down main street. Her hair stood on end as recognition seized her mind. She squealed as a cold liquid seeped through her blouse. Every last drop of her drink spilled when she dropped the wooden cup.

“Peter!” She rushed to close the long gap between her and her dear brother. Incoherent chatter and music hung in the air, drowning out his precious footsteps. The celebration faded behind her as the night engulfed her senses. She slid to a stop in the open street, tripping on an unseen cobblestone. A dense fog hid most of the town and forest beyond. Strange, the air was clear at the party moments before.

She scanned the street, but could not see her brother. “Peter! Peter!” Her voice struggled to force out the words between shallow, rapid breaths. Neither light nor sound penetrated the thick miasma as she scanned for the small outline of her brother. She strained to hear the faint tap of her little brother’s footsteps on cobblestone. Elke squealed as she felt a slight tug on her blouse.

“Elke! I saw you run right past the church.” Her young step-brother, Berthold, looked up at her. He barely stood as tall as her shoulders. He peered at her with a raised eyebrow. “The celebration for Saint John and Saint Paul is about to start. It’s the biggest feast all year. My brother stuck a hog this big!” Beaming from ear to ear, the boy held his arms apart as wide as he could stretch. “You two just got married. He’ll be so disappointed if you aren’t there for the first bite.” He pulled on her hand, beckoning her toward the church.

“Berthold, you gave me such a fright. I cannot go back, I must find Peter!” She leaned down to grab the boy’s shoulders, shaking him as she spoke. “He followed something this way. I chased him here, but lost sight of him.” Elke pointed down the main road. “He looked like he was heading toward the edge of town. He’s a young boy wandering in the fog at night. If he was chasing something he could get hurt!”

Concern swept across Berthold’s face. “What can we do for Peter, my sister?” He slouched timidly, brow scrunched and eyes wide.

She cocked an eyebrow at the word sister. “Yes, my brother, you must fetch Hans and anyone else who can help search for Peter. Go back to the church. I must search for Peter before it’s too late!” She pushed the boy away, back down the alley.

“O-O-OK,” Berthold backed away. He turned quickly, tripping over his feet and nearly falling over. He caught his balance and faded into the dark alley.

Elke nearly stumbled over her skirt as she sprinted down the cobbled road. Oil-filled streetlamps flickered along the roadside, casting steep shadows stretching up darkened buildings. Surely Peter could only be a few steps ahead. Her vision betrayed her every step of the way as Peter’s form teased its way through the milky white fog, only to reveal bushes or fence posts. Soon, her frantic gait carried her to the edge of town. Elke’s slowed to a stop as the hard cobblestone abruptly gave way to the soft crunch of pine needles on earthen road. She leaned forward, placing hands on knees as she gasped for breath.

The hazy glow of street lamps formed an arch through the miasma, illuminating the end of her familiar home. An eerie silence consumed the sounds of the forest. “Peter! Peter!” Not even an echo in return. “Brother! Where are you!” Elke’s voice cracked as she strained to reach the ears of her brother. She held her breath for one moment, quieting the heavy sounds of her own exhaustion, but there was only silence. Her lip quivered as fear crept through her body. She covered her face, attempting to hold back the tears.

Her cries subsided as a faint glimmer of light breached the mist. “Peter?” She sniffed, wiping her eyes clean. A globe of light drew close, perhaps a torch or lantern approaching from Hamlin? “Hans? Hans!” Elke dashed toward the light, feet light as a feather. The distant sounds of celebration tickled her ears as she drew near. A vibrant and fanciful melody serenaded the night from a distant flute. The sound of rhythmic dancing and skipping accompanied the laughter of children. Her pace slowed to a stop as she gazed awestruck at the incoming light.

Hans did not carry the globe of light, nor did any person. The light fluttered and spun, twisted and turned, dipped and flew all in time with the disembodied tune of a single flute. Fluttering trills grew louder, permeating her very essence as a ball of dancing light glided past Elke’s face. The enchanting sounds of the flute faded as the light moved away, enticing her feet to step and jump and skip and twirl. The desire to dance buzzed through her toes, tickling her foot as she kicked up into a skip. Her hips swayed as she twirled, hands reaching for the tree branches overhead. A warm sensation emanated from her core, forcing giggles out in short bursts like hiccups.

She began to hop and twirl in a wide circle, beckoned by the enchanting tune, only to see a boy join in with her step. She clutched her elbows and crossed her feet, forcing her body to remain still. Elke halted her dance, still gently bouncing to the beat. Her surprise partner drew close. “Berthold? What are you doing here?” Her brother-in-law continued dancing and skipping, trailing the musical radiant wisp of light.

She jerkily moved toward him, each footstep labored and heavy as if trudging through mud. “Berthold! Did you bring Hans? Where is your brother? Where is my husband!?” The boy did nothing to acknowledge Elke. Eyes wide with a huge smile painted across his face, Berthold began to sing along with the melody as he continued his dance.

Into the night,
the children take flight,
the song of the piper beckons,
but when dawn comes,
the beat of red drums,
will lead us to the heavens.

Berthold sang at the top of his lungs, dancing and twirling in circles. Elke embraced the boy, clutching him close as she pulled him off the ground. “What are you saying? Who taught you that song? Why do you follow the will o’ wisp?” The boy did not struggle, he did not squirm. He slowly turned his head toward Elke; vacant eyes stared through her accompanied by a mirthless painted-on smile. He spoke guttural words through tense lips:

“You’ve grown too old,
he’ll leave you out in the cold,
you can’t follow the children of Hamlin.”

Elke looked up past Berthold, the path through the forest was now brightly lit. She gawked as one by one, wisps of every color weaved and bobbed through the trees lining the path. A child followed behind each disembodied luminous bulb. The wisps melded into an ever-increasing mass of pulsating light. A deep rumbling shook her feet, sending vibrations throughout her body. Berthold’s song suddenly overwhelmed her as dozens of voices poured out of the dark forest. Numerous children swarmed Elke, dancing in unison as if they had rehearsed this haunting performance for years. The ground quaked in time with their step.

Berthold slipped free of Elke’s grip to join his troupe with gusto. Dozens of children from Hamlin skipped and danced around Elke, as if she were a lone rock fighting the current of an irrepressible river. Elke fought to keep her leather-bound feet on the ground. The song and the dance grew faint as the light shrank to a small dot in the distance. The mist rolled in, embracing her once more, leaving her stranded alone if she did not act.

Thank you for reading the first part of my story. I promise to release the second half tomorrow. I hope this wasn't too much of a cliffhanger.

I chose to write about the Pied Piper of Hamlin from the point of view of a teenage girl. She's of the age where she would just barely be old enough to escape the piper's tune. I placed her in the middle of the action, so she could witness it first hand. I won't spoil the rest. I took a different approach with the character of the piper. Tune in tomorrow to see the ending!

Keep calm and rock on!

Part 2 is up!