therapy

The process I have been continuing for 7 months.

I started for my grieving process. Things got so confused that I went into a well with each other. As it opened like a matryoshka, other things came out.

I went out of myself. I watch myself from afar. I am reliving everything that I have lived and lived since childhood. Like a cloud of dust, my whole life rains down on me again and again. sometimes it falls on me like an avalanche. sometimes it crashes into my face like a smack. Sometimes I have a hard time.

I can't really talk to anyone. I can't fully share my feelings with anyone. Everything I knew right in my life was wrong, everything I knew wrong was despair.

I am like a refugee in a country whose language I understand but never speak. I understand all the conversations, but I'm in such a different world that I can't tell anyone my reason.