The Eclipse Chronicles ~ Prelude: An Idea Is Born, The Almighty Prep, and Getting Started ~ Original Photography and Story Of Certain Adventure ~ In Several Parts ~

Wilson² Gets Ready For The Eclipse

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A Grand Event, But Too Much Bother?

The solar eclipse this year was touted by many as the event of the century, and ended up being quite the hoo-haa in the news and other areas of discussion this summer. But for some reason, I was not all that swept up in it all. I think the impending doom and gloom predicted by most of the internet/news outlets finished off any of the personal interest I may have had for the event.

"Hundreds of thousands, if not MILLIONS" of people flooding to the state from outside the coveted 'line of totality', to have a closer look. Driving all over lawns, gardens, and much worse in rented cars, if a rental was even to be had at the eclipse-mad, bulging-with-traveler airports. The expected mayhem went on and on and on in dire detail.

Hotels overbooked and price-gouging for $1400/night. Cell phone coverage dead because everyone will be calling home to report what they see. Long lines and gas shortages at the pumps for the rental and personal vehicles. Large runs on the grocery stores. Forest fires, smoke, vehicle accidents, bad disasters, more mayhem, with major discomfort thrown in as well. Way too much for me to deal with, that's for sure.

The plan from in here was to do nothing for this once-in-a-lifetime event...except go out in the back yard at about 10 o'clock in the morning, look up, enjoy it, then go back into the house and get back on Steemit. I didn't even buy any of those coveted, cheapo cardboard glasses, to allow me to look up safely. (Not sure WHAT my plan was for that part, I DO have #12 welding glass, but need a #14, evidently). I guess I just figured I'd buy them at the last minute, like everything else I do in life. As it ends up, there are many people in my town that plan ahead, just like me. More on that later.

I suppose one could call me a major bah-humbuggist, bordering on big-time pooh-pooist regarding these huge events. But in self defense, I just don't like dealing with all the nutty people in these larger-than-life situations. It just erases much of the 'fun factor'.

An Idea Pokes It's Small-Plan Head Out Of The Sand

Like all planning phases of life, things can change very quickly. A friend called awhile back, and a new, 'great idea', was laid ...and then sat upon to see if anything might hatch forth. It WAS simple, in a complex, simple-plan sort of way. "We'll go to Eastern Oregon. Go early, and camp out on public lands. Get ahead of the crowd, hide out in some corner of nowhere, and watch it from there". Seemed like a good idea, as most last minute ideas spelled out on paper go.

We just had to leave early enough, get ahead of the throng of crazy eclipse watchers, and stay put in the 'wilderness', until they all drove their rent-a-cars home the next day. Bring enough food, water, shelter, food, beer, food, and whatever else we might need to survive in the desert, and wait it out. It was all set, a phenomenal plan indeed.

Smokey The Bear Had A Different Idea

One of the joys of the summer out west, is massive forest and grass fires. In just about every corner of our world. And besides the bad idea of getting burned up in one of these fires, there is the smoke thing. A lot of smoke...smoke so thick, you can't see the skyline, let alone the actual sun. And this summer was no different. About a week and a half before Eclipse Day, things were getting bad. The smoke was everywhere, with a new fire popping up almost daily.

The eastern Oregon plan was scrubbed, and the whole idea tossed out with the bathwater. The western part of the state was promised by those in-the-know as being even MORE of a human zoo. All those MILLIONS of people originally going to the east, now coming west.

Narrow, two lane roads jammed tight, all that mayhem discussed previously, was still going to be the same. Only magnified, and shifted in another direction. "Don't Even Go There!!", was the general gist of the news. And this didn't even account for possible weather changes. Events like the one I read about on-line recently. Some poor guy has made 14 attempts at seeing the eclipse, worldwide. He's only seen one eclipse. Not odds I'd like to bet on.

One If By Land, Three If By...River?

There is a saying from somewhere or another, that I've pretty much patterned my life after, that has served me to some degree of success over the years. It states: "If you don't plan ahead, doing something at the last second means you don't really need to HAVE a plan". This whole eclipse thing was soon to take a turn in this direction.

The solar eclipse was predicted for the 21st of August. On a Monday. This was Friday, the 18th. And at 9:00 in the morning, our eclipse plans were all canceled. Too crazy out there. Back to square one. Go out the back door where it's quiet, look up, enjoy the eclipse, then go back in. Wouldn't be along the Line of Totality, but just fine with me.

Then some more information surfaced on various friendly telephone calls about the state. Later in the day on Friday, it all started: "Hey, a new idea. Canoeing! The Path of the eclipse goes RIGHT ACROSS THE WILLAMETTE RIVER! Why not get in the canoe, paddle down the river, and camp out. RIGHT ON THE LINE OF TOTALITY!!" ALL I could say was "YESSSS!" and "BRILLIANT INDEED!!!!"

"Scurry Scurry, Toil and Worry...Dig All The Stuff Out, In A Big Old Hurry"

This WAS a grand plan, on paper. But it had a few potential kinks, in that dumb-old reality of...well...reality. What if the other 70,000 boaters of the area come up with the same idea?

There are only so many places below high-waterline on the river one can camp. Both physically and legally. It's just how rivers are put together. What if ALL these folks show up in their boats, in the same place, at the same time? That coveted ground zero, where the river crosses the sun's path. Talk about watercraft wackiness.

Plus, this is a river. They tend to flow in one direction. Downriver. You can float down all you want. But you have to have somewhere to park your car where you 'put in'. And somewhere to get out when done boating. And THEN have a way to get BACK to your car, that is now miles upriver, so you can take your boat home. Minor details...they always get in the way.

This sort of thing is a logistic conundrum on a good summer's day. A day without thousands, if not MILLIONS of people added to the mix on the narrow, two-lane country roads, camping grounds, put-in's and everywhere else. All monkeying up the works for those of us with the most-perfect plan. Something had to be done.

Getting Up Before The Sun Usually Solves The Problem

After about a gazillion phone calls to officials running the public land areas around the river, the whole thing was finalized. Google Map was consulted and xeroxed, and all was complete. We would get up before the crack of dawn on Sunday, the 20th. Park the car at the County Park put-in, paddle down and camp, and then some poor sucker would have to walk back on the country roads to get the car, parked somewhere 5 to 10 miles away at the park. Seemed do-able. As long as I wasn't the one 'volunteered' to walk back to the car.

Things were set in motion. The eclipse adventure was on. Not without trepidation...regarding the MILLIONS of people that might be in the way, but the plan was up-shifted from 'N' to 'D', full, canoe-steam ahead.

"Please Spare Us The Details, Sir"

I could go into many discussions about what it took to get all this in motion, in one day. But we need to get to the pork and potatoes of this whole thing. Suffice it to say, it was a LOT of running about town on Saturday, to make all of this happen in that one day.

Starting off with getting river maps at the Whitewater Outfitting Store. (Including a large, UH OH moment, when the woman behind the counter piped up: "I think a bunch of boaters from the area already have the same plan as you. We've seen a LOT of them in here this week. Buying maps, gear, and getting more info for the trip!!") Hmmm...

Undeterred, I then moved on across town to the next steps. Gathering and buying and digging out the foodstuffs, camping gear, water container, fishing gear, more foods, liquid inbibe-ance-es, canoe permit, camping info, Google Map map for the walk, eclipse viewing info, paddles, life jackets, throw bag, cooler, blah, blah, blah, on and on, blah blah. A full days worth of work. And on into the night. I didn't get a wink of sleep from Friday night until departure time, way-too-early Sunday Morning. Too much stuff to do.

Onward, Outward, and Awayward, and Down To The River

The big plan was to drive off the driveway at 3:00 AM, and we finally left at about 4:30. Not a bad start, as my trips usually go. It was a fun drive up to the put-in for me. I slept most of the way. But once we got about 5 miles from the park, and the sun started peeking out from below the horizon, I awoke, and pondered our next, highly iffy part of the plan.

The nice woman on the County Park's telephone on Friday told me that there were 7 official parking spaces at the put-in, and there was "some overflow parking, down by the river, but not much."

Not that I am a Negative Ned about these things, but I figured there had to be at LEAST 7 other boaters in this part of the state with a phenomenal plan as great as ours for eclipse viewing. And if the lot was full...we would have to drastically change this plan. A Subaru will NOT fit in a canoe. We would have to find another place to park and launch our canoe. Not an easy task, with all the other MILLIONS of people crowding the only other 2-3 'put in's for miles and miles around.

"There Ya Go, With Them Negative Waves"

Plan B looked much worse, even when viewed in GOOD daylight. The less-than-desirable possibility that we wouldn't even make it onto the river at all, and end up stuck by the side of the road with a canoe and all the water-accessories that go along with it. Then spend the rest of the day and evening trying to find a patch of ground to park on, followed by spending Sunday night sleeping under the upside-down canoe.

Such fun! Awake Monday morning all super-refreshed and ready to go for the eclipse viewing, eating breakfast while sitting in the canoe in some farmer's field, or in a roadside ditch. We were hoping against hope this fun scenario would not unfold for us.

We drove on, undaunted and unable to do anything about all of this, and finally arrived at the put-in parking lot as the pale, yellow-orange light of day crested the trees beyond the river. "Holy Mackerel, will you look at that!", was the uttered reply, from the three very bleary-eyed canoeist's, crammed all around and between the gear in the Subaru. The shock when we drove into the parking lot was downright palpable...

~ NOT Finto -- To Be Continued ~

Thanks for stopping in and viewing the start of the Eclipse Chronicles. If you have any thoughts about the sun and moon, canoeing, driving to a spot through massive traffic, finding a new Wilson in the Wilderness, or anything else this post reminds you of, feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.

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_{Post No. 150}

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