29 June 2020: The Diary Game Starts with a Sad Story

I joined Steemit today and wrote my introduction post. In the post, I mentioned about my habit of recording the daily life in diary and desire to bring those chronicle on Steemit. It must be coincidence that when I was skimming the platform to understand how it works, I came across #thediarygame and #100daysofsteem. I took that as an sign to immediately start posting my daily diary here.

At that time I didn't know my first diary post would be a sad one. I wanted to write about the excitement and happiness of finding the world of Steem and how I learned new things her. Instead the fate decided something else.

I went to see my ENT specialist today. I have been having ear infection since past few weeks and my first visit to him was last week. In my first visit itself, the doctor was not very hopeful. He said there is something wrong in my ear and I might need to undergo the surgery to fix that. Yet he asked me to take a course of antibiotics for a week before asking me to x-ray my ear.

I was praying whole week for the things to be normal. I didn't want to do the surgery. I was shaking when I was back to the hospital today hoping and praying for the things to be alright. Unfortunately, things were not. My right eardrum has a hole in it and the hole has been eroding my ear bone. Before the ear bone eroded too much to reach to my brain, I need to undergo the surgery.

It is a major surgery that will take up to three hours and I will be unconscious throughout. On top of that, it seemed I have inherited a disease from my family. My ear nerves are drying affecting my hearing power. The hearing loss is mild in left ear because the is not any problem there. The loss is right ear is more owing to the condition that is asking me to undergo the surgery. The surgery will not bring back my hearing but will stop the accelerated rate of the loss. In long run, I will continue losing the hearing capacity and when it reaches some level, I will just have to live my life with a hearing aid.

The news is so sudden that I feel like crying. I have my family by my side and my husband is supportive enough. The most immediate challenge for me now is break the news to my parents-in-laws. They are loving and caring people which is good but sometimes the same good becomes bad. They get worried early and when they do so, I get anxious. I tried exploring if I could stay at my parents house during the surgery and never let them know but it seems impossible. I have to stay at hospital for few days to undergo the surgery and the band-aid around the head will remains for a week. The stitches will also go in a week but the ear packing used will remain for three months. In the period, my hearing will not be as normal as it is now. So, I see no way to hide this from my in-laws.

My husband has promised to talk about this tomorrow and maybe in a week time, I will plan for the surgery.

I am scared and upset. The complications that come with the surgery on one hand and my permanent hear loss in another, I feel trapped. I don't have any options than to accept what comes. I can only pray for the best.