The Diary Game - 01/08/2020 - Facebook Dating Gone Sideways

I woke up today with messages waiting for me on my phone. I had been chatting with a gentleman who had met me through a Facebook dating app. When I had signed up for the app I was overwhelmed with the sudden amount of people waiting for me to like them back. That was all too overwhelming so I deleted the app within a few days. There was a guy that lived near me so I gave him my number.

The texts flew back and forth through the day with one another chatting about meeting in person. I had texted "We can meet 6 feet apart, and if we hit it off we can make out 6 ft apart as well."

I was a bit annoyed with the difficulty for this man to pin down a time to meet at a local park so we could go on a walk in the open air and keep some distance from one another. Well, I arrived at the park a minute late. He was leaned over his car. I had waved but he ignored me. So I was unsure if it was him. We had agreed to meet at the lifejacket wall near the water. I began to walk that way and the same guy bent over his car starts to make his way toward me. So this must be him. He doesn't look like his picture at all. The man I was supposed to meet was supposed to be 6ft tall with Viking features and a huge beard and slight mohawk hair on top. My date wore a hat, he was about 5'9" tall, and grey. He was very grey. I swear his profile said he was younger. I don't think I was expecting such an older looking man. He reached in to hug me. His hug was nice but he had just invaded my 6 feet rule. Kinda annoyed that he took no regard for my health but then again I should not have been in the situation had I been taking regard for my health. My touche moment.

Life Jacket Wall

We made our way over to the river and sat at a bench that overlooked the water. The nearby trash sitting around the bench detracted for sure from my enjoyment. This was a park I visit almost every morning to walk with my dad. I had never seen so much trash.

The Bench

We begin to tell our stories and I shorten mine when he asks about my history of owning dispensaries and why I am single. I go on to tell him well I built my ex a cannabis empire and he took off with all the money. Of course, my answer was very shortened. There is so much baggage in that sentence alone. He pushed further. I explained that there were guns, strangling, and pure violence in my story and that if you could imagine it then it probably happened in my relationship. I went on to explain "I'm free now though! That is where my story now begins." I at that point shut him off asking anymore because I was not there for therapy. I was there to see if there was a connection. At this point, I was not feeling it. But I'm picky and maybe I just needed to give the nice upstanding guy a chance so I don't end up with another messy experience. I ask "So why are you single?"

He goes on to explain that he is a retired 20-year military vet from the Navy, Marines, and Army. He had all kinds of medals and so on. He then tells me he is seeing a therapist who is helping him work through what he had seen overseas in the East. He called what was in his head "Pandora's Box". I told him a story about my friend's son coming home from the Navy last Christmas. He had told me stories of pirates, bodies, black-market blood, ship stealing, and so on... The Vet I was on the date with verified that he had been a pirate hunter at one point as well. He had similar stories.

My date then asked me "Do you still smoke weed? I see in your dating profile that you have been in the weed industry for a long time. I was hoping that you no longer did."

I answered "Yes, daily. I either smoke it, vape it, or eat it."

"Oh, that is a trigger for me. If I smell weed it sets off my PTSD" He said.

"Why the hell are you on a date with me then? It was in my profile." I sat back in such a confused manner. I had eaten an edible before going on my date so the high had surely kicked in. I was so grateful for that. He had continued telling me why weed is the worst thing out there. I then asked if he drinks. The day was gorgeous. It was about 80°F outside the wind blew in the correct direction. We sat in the shade enjoying the view.

The view at Keizer Rapids Park

"Of course I drink alcohol, cuz that is normal to do. Weed is not!" He said it so matter of fact with such a conviction.

There was no need to argue. I was already wanting to go home and work on my book and studies. I was now wasting time. I did want to leave him with some thoughts on the matter so I went on to explain my health story and how I had ended up smoking weed to cure the side effects of Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis. He sat back and then said to me "That I can wrap my head around but you could never smoke around me if we were to date!"

He had nothing to worry about. We were never going to date. He had just found himself back to nearby neighbor status.
I turned to check my phone and he says "Oh, you have an imaginary important thing to get off to before you go and ghost me!?!?" But he didn't stop there. He went on to tell me about all his other dating profiles and the many failed dates he had gone on. I wanted to give advice but I just sat and listened. He then told me a story about a broad that he had met that had picked him up at his place and brought him back to hers. She had given him a glass of water and moments later he started to lose balance and consciousness. He explained that she had roofied him. This must have been a very desperate lady or just kinky. He tells me that she raped him. It was now time for me to make my exit. I saw an officer drive in to check the park since the sun had begun to go down. This was my chance to make an exit.

"The park is closing. I'm done for the night. It was lovely to meet." I'm not rude at any level or at least until pushed way too far. He was a nice soul that had misrepresented his very petite aged looks and height. I appreciate that he had served our country and that he was now emotionally wounded for having done so.

"You're going?" He asked. I got up and began to walk back to my car. He followed in suit and I knew the most awkward moment was about to occur. I passed the boat ramp and stopped midway at a crosswalk between our two cars distance wise. I didn't want that scene from the movies where he leans in and tries to kiss me. I could see the disappointment on his face as he was not stupid. He leaned in to give me another hug and thanked me.

I hopped in my car and fiddled with my Bluetooth because good music was the only cure for what I had just experienced. So maybe I'm not quite ready for dating. This experience tonight definitely made me feel safer at home. I have lived in the forest for way too many years. Currently, I live in suburbia and all I could think about was making a run to the forest. I don't meet people there.