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RE: Escape to Atlantis of the Inner Sun -- Tell a Story To Me

in #tellastorytome5 years ago

This is a great story. You really developed the aspects of a society needed to prosper underground, I love the concept of the inner sun. Your overall layout and pacing works really well. I feel like the loss of his wife and child could have been more impactful, or it could have been taken out as it didn't really add anything to the character.

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I thought about removing them earlier because their role was so little -- you are right about that -- but left them, if solely to indicate a human tragedy so large that a man who moved halfway across the world to secure a future for his family could be glad that they were gone, so that he would not have them to consider in the act of throwing away his own future to save the human race from extinction.

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