Noir

in #teenageangst4 years ago (edited)


I started listening to “The Smiths” again

I guess that shows you how I feel

Old 80’s bands were onto something

Maybe that adds to their appeal


Fall colors make me furious

They just make me want to hide

Cause dead, dull, dreary colors

Make me feel that way inside


It’s just this California cold

That makes me wanna cry

It makes me wonder who’ll leave roses

On my grave when I die


I wanna hear them say I’m something

Cause it’s what they say that goes

I don't need time, hope, or happiness

I just wanna know what God knows

My siblings seem to hate me

I wonder if they want me dead

It’s the things that I’ve grown out of

That they hold over my head


I just hope that I don't die

Before I prove them wrong

I’d gladly go and suffer

Just to show them that I belong


I wonder why it hurts so much

When they laugh or turn away

They seem to barely listen

To the things I have to say


I wonder if I’m worthless

Some people tell me that I’m not

I wish they would just let me

Try to show them what I’ve got


I guess I’m stuck in this rut again


As always the attached picture is of my own creation, but this time it's not some weird Polaroid.   

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Thanks for sharing this. They don't hate you, try being open and present with no intention of trying to win them over.

We all write nonsense in anger. Whether or not the anger is founded or not is different, but thanks for the comment.

...and yet, sometimes we grow up to we realise that we don't need or want to belong. Great writing, it reminded me of my teen years. Thank you. J

Good point, and thanks. I'm glad my current self reminds you of your teen self!

Your art is cute as hell, yet somehow mesmerising.
Figure out why you crave approval and then stop it!
When siblings fail to be supportive of each other: it's generally because their parents have been playing the old, "divide and conquer". It's not that they hate you, it's that they weren't taught to love.
Typo: "they they hold over my head"

Thanks a bunch cathi! Yeah, this post was more of an angry rant than an actual meaningful poem. It's always fun to take a break from writing profound nothingness, and to just complain about family. The error has been corrected, thanks for spotting it. Maybe you'd like some of my other work, a warning though, my other attached pictures aren't hand drawn, I tend to proffer Polaroids.