#Ulog - My Yesterday wasn't good enough, but I let it go
"I could have performed better, I wish I could turn back the hands of time..."
Those were the words I mumbled while gazing at my results pasted on the notice board in the Faculty of Engineering, University of Uyo. This was my first time of seeing my result after two (2) years as an undergraduate. I felt bad, I lost my vibes and esteem. The feeling was so intense that I wished I hadn't yet enrolled into the university. In fact, I could have my way, I would have wished everything be reset to a fresh start.
In the real sense, the result was not bad, it was well above average, with no failure, yet, I felt bad because I knew that I could have made it better, and indeed, I should have. Having got an admission to study Agricultural Engineering in just a single seating of all relevant prerequisite examination, was a booster for a promising academic life.
My challenge was a simple one, I lacked an academic mentor. I had nobody that could talk to me on the pursuit of academic excellence. I had nobody that would share his success/failure stories to me. Everyone felt that I did well in thee high school and with that I had nothing to worry about, as such, they never cared. Everyone felt I had the strength, drive, passion, determination and push to make it, thus, leaving me to wanton in the infatuations of my flaming teen years.
On the other hand, it never crossed my head that I needed someone to sit over me. I was already feeling strong working as an independent "guy". It least occurred to me that I ever needed collaboration. This was the poor mentality I came with from the high school. All our teachers will tell us "try and be independent, do your stuffs by yourself so you can build confidence". Permit me to call it a wrong approach to learning. This wrong approach to learning caused me tears.
In a bid to help myself up, I ended up building so much pressure on myself, stress developed, yet, the outcomes were not better. Hate for self began and regrets filled my day with wishes of going back to the past - it was a horrible experience. I became psychologically and emotionally sick in my bid to improve on my grade to the A or B class.
I could remember one of the times meeting my high school teacher. She was excited seeing me and started questioning how well I did in school. I was sincere to tell her my grades only to get her yells in response:
You are playing too much, its pride, its this and that...
That was another blow on my struggling esteem. This led to my beginning to play a hide and seek each time I met my high school friends and teachers, all for the fear of telling them I was no more in the A or B class. I could also remember giving myself an option of changing my course of study, perhaps, I thought was the reason for my downward academic movement.
Hope came at Last
In my Third year, I had an opportunity to attend a career summit organized by my department. Speakers with high repute and awesome Curriculum vitae who graduated from my course of study were selected to speak at the summit. Their teachings helped me see another light from my dark world. Hope was restored at least by their success stories.
One thing that was unique among all of them was that they all had a challenging start, but got motivated at one point or another to stardom in performance. I resolved to pick up my pieces and I determined to approach a senior colleague to put me through in things I needed to know. That was a bold step to entering another phase of my personal development and happiness. That's how I met Samuel Akpanmkpuk. Am still preaching steemit to him and hope he'll join soon.
Knowing him helped me to curtail some of my excesses. Sam has been a part of my life since then. He has been a bundle of encouragement and a positive push in my business and career life. I have learnt to collaborate with many others ever since I knew him.
I Learnt Lessons
In all, those horrible experiences I went through has helped the man I have become today. I have a very rich experience, though painful and it forms a good platform to advice every young high school school leaver and university newbies. @udysoft @giftakpan @daronbush @evegrace @bobbypraize can attest to this.
My experience as I gathered has made me stronger today. It roused the quest to raise men of excellence within my radius of influence. I approach them and I mentor them to stardom. This kind of strength birthed could be linked to @surpassinggoogle's testimony in his yesterday's post. The pains that surrounded his beginning are instrumental to his present development and growth.
To my readers, we will always have certain weaknesses and failures in the past. That only defines our human frailty but should not be allowed to affect our future and the determination to succeed. The hurting moments of yesterday may be great lessons for the future. Be keen as you review them and maximize them for the good of humanity.
My assignment today, is to encourage you not to loose your confidence over the hurts of yesterday, rather, allow the perfection that only the strength of Jehovah can provide by speaking directly to you or sending help your way through men. I survived it, you can also survive it.
- Reach out and get Help
- Reach out and offer Help
- Keep the Web of Help growing
- We all have something to offer.
I hope this message blesses your day.
I am your motivator @uyobong.