IN LOVE WITH THE PERFECT WRONG MAN - The Genesis

Fresh from High school, with failed grades, a shattered heart, broken friendships and what seemed like a broken dream. A point in my life when i thought the world must come to an end already as it had just seemed the end for me, nothing seemed to work out.

As if that was not enough, Multiple rejections into University, Depression was about to take a toll on me. Like i did not know where else to go, who else to turn too. Mother as the only parent in sight was getting apprehensive with the way things were going with me and she was becoming a little helpless.
On one of those dispirited evenings , a call came in, from a complete but familiar stranger. I had only heard about him from a very close family friend, but never met or connected in any way. How did he get my number? sweet coincidence i should say, at least that's what it felt like.

super straight forward, very flirtatious,he asked me very straight forward intimate questions. I was knocked off my guard as they were coming from a complete stranger. Who the hell does he think he is to ask me such questions? what does he take me for? you would think i dropped the call, but i did not, there was just something about his arrogance that was equally attractive. i was interested in knowing this man, and we spoke through the night, the next day, and the one after. We spoke about it all, everything imaginable under the sun, and at this point, i felt like i knew him, we had a connection, i felt the closeness, it was magical, i had to meet him, the feeling was mutual with him, he was in fact blown off his socks, i was 19, and he was 34 years old, yes 15 years age gap .

The age difference was of course a concern, but i convinced my self that nothing could go wrong, especially with someone who has virtually spent all his day and night talking to me in the last couple days.
We arranged for a meet. I was nervous, would i really like him in person? I wouldn't know unless i gave it a try. Broke depressed girl just out oh High school, i did not have a penny to buy nicer clothes, have a nicer hair do or try to look nice.
I had big , uneven and old braids on my head, 2 big pimples on my face , a discolored white top, oversize grey pants and an over sized jacket that i thought was cool, with the only pair of wedges i owned.

We planned to meet on a Sunday evening, February 27, 2009 at a park. i arrived there right on time, and Gaborone, being what it was that time, no one was in site at the mall, aside from a bunch of Chicken Licken workers clad in Orange enjoying their break time.
I was nervous at this point because he was no where in sight, yet he told me he was right there. I looked everywhere but he wasn't in sight, was he bluffing ?
He messaged me, telling me to look behind, and the moment i did, he sneaked in front of me , and as i turned back, there stood this huge bald headed figure and before i could say a word, he teased about how small i was and how i would look tiny next to him as his girlfriend. I was immediately rendered Vulnerable . He also noticed the big pimple on my face and immediately wanted to pop them, i felt "violated".

He was cocky, and i loved it. He intimidated me and he wasn't like any other man i had ever known, he presented him with power, authority and maturity, which is something i had never ever experienced with a man, not even my father.

I did not like his physical appearance at all , i was put off by his bald head and i felt too small against his gigantic height.
i eased my self enough not to look as vulnerable as i felt.

We talked lightly rest of the evening as we walked towards Marina Hospital , to visit my friend who was admitted . We stood outside the hospital for a about 30 minutes before he could let me leave, and when i insisted i had to leave .
He quickly gave me a peck kiss on my lips, and walked away, leaving me confused and at the same time bedazzled by this man. Who is He?

We spent the next couple days talking on the phone even more than we had the previous days, again about everything and anything under the sun, i couldn't wait to meet him again, i just wasn't going to be the one to suggest it.

Few days passed and he suggested we meet on Thursday, after I finished my classes from the IT school. I did not last half a day at the school, IT was never my thing anyway, he gave me a location for a meet up and i was there right on time. He was still busy at work, i had to wait until he was done , then we went for lunch, at his House.

What was i doing in the company of this older man? Why was i even loving it?

He cooked up a storm, He made Egusi Soup with swallow. That was the first time i tasted Nigerian Food and instantly fell in love, not because the food was great, but because he cooked it, for me.

Prior to lunch, he served me cake and custard, and when he served the food, i was already too full to eat. But i still ate, couldn't pass on the kpomo (cow skin), and fish on the Egusi. If you have eaten Nigerian Food, you would know that they are good with mixing different kinds of assorted meat.
After gluttoning , i was functionally useless, i positioned my self well on the Sofa, trying very hard not to pass out.

He sensed my condition and offered me to rest , while he went back to work. It was a scary move but for unknown reason, i had trust in this man.

I comfortably lay and fell asleep immediately on his bed, as he went back to work. i felt comfortable and safe with him. At this point, i liked him more and even his appearance was becoming more appealing. i wanted to risk it all to be with him.
Woke up 2 hours later and he still wasn't back. Being a typical woman that i am, i grabbed the opportunity to snoop around the house.
Right beside his bed was a magazine rack, i quickly grabbed a few copies and started perusing through and in the middle of the magazines was a white envelope, one that was going to change my short lived happiness.

His wedding had just happened 4 months before we met. He looked very happy and contented, his wife was nothing short of beauty.
Photos of their wedding is what i found inside the envelope.

To be continue