tired

Tonight I'll make an entry for @teardrops of sir terry @surpassinggoogle, since I felt emotional now.

We can't deny that all of us did the hardest to achieve things that we want to. There are times that you think of giving up because we think that this is not for you. Then time comes that you'll lost hope for what you wanted to be. Brain is hard to repair when it is damage.

Way back 2010 I stopped my studies for personal reasons. I think of doing nothing and just accept the fact that I am nothing but a failure. I kept it in my heart because I'm funny person my friends always ask me to go out, maybe they'll laugh easily if they just see my face. lol, Those times are really hard for me, and no one is there for me, my family hates me so much. They're mad of what I did, they trusted me but I did wrong. In the year 2011 they told me to go to Mindanao, far from home and far from my love. I was guilty at that moment so I don't have the right to disagree if what they want to do to me. Not just a bucket of tears I fetched to fill my loneliness, I'm a funny man but I'm a freaking emotional (yeah I hate that part of me). I isolated myself from everyone, I lived in the mountain area. I lived like a farmer and it's hard because I don't know how to be one of them. I did, climb a coconut tree, I cut grasses in our land and cut grasses to others to paid me for my foods. I plowed land to plant vegetables, spices and I even made charcoal and it's the hardest job I think because the feeling that you look so pathetic, you'll carry one sack of charcoal while your face is almost covered with black dust and your t-shirt was wet because of the water inside of it. Almost a farmers job I did in the mountain to survive from starveness. But when I did nothing and taking a rest wait to eat and fall asleep. Tears fall suddenly, before I realize I was so sad the teardrops already decide. I was alone and broken and they made it harder because of it. But I never curse them and just accepted that it's my fault after all. There were times I lied that I can't barely move because of tiredness. Sometimes I just said to myself while smilling, "what a life I have".

But the experiences I had was never wasted. It might be painful and I thought it over and over. That was not a bad thing happens to me, the teardrops fell was made a mark for being me now. I learned from it and I won't do it again like footprints in the sand.

The mistakes I did put a mark in my heart that helps to become stronger. Like a footprints I knew where it is and I'll walk in another path so that I can avoid it to happen again. Those things happened can't be undone because it's already there but what you can do is to make things right that you made before. The mistake will never tells you what to do, but instead the mistake will help you to realize that what you did is wrong.

So now those teardrops fell gives me strength to achieve my dreams in life, I went back to school and I'll assure it this time with out fail that I'll reach it.

I'll continue some of my stories nextime, thank you fro reading