Dangerous Nights....

On nights like this one, I just want someone, anyone, to save me from myself. These nights come repeatedly, never skipping a chance to torment me. I can sense its arrival, and I try to run each time, but I never get far, before it catches up with me. No matter what medium I use as a means to get away, it catches up.

They're experienced , so they're smarter, they know better. It waits in the shadows, while I try to read a book unsuccessfully, or see a movie that I can't enjoy, no matter how interesting it might be. In the end, I give in, and like a sheep to the slaughter, I go to the night, and it wraps itself around me, and then we begin our age long festival.

These nights are powerful and possess abilities, sleep doesn't stand a chance, and she eludes me, no matter how tired I am. I'm left alone in bed, tossing and turning, with my pillows as my only companions. Sadly, they can't save me from drowning in my thoughts, while the night watches. Then, the night uncages all my bad decisions from my past, and they come to haunt me. When they're done, it unleashes all my fears, and sets them on me, watching them ravage me.

I cry a lot on these nights, sometimes in sobs, and other times shaking uncontrollably. I talk to my God, hoping that he hears me. On nights like this, I attend a trial in my head, where I'm the accused, the prosecutor, the defendant, and at the same time, the judge. On these nights, I'm left to console myself, and remind myself of the tiny victories that I've had along the way, I assure myself that I am not aimless, even though I feel so.

These nights are precarious, but I survive them, I live to see the cold light of day.

Lucent Britex.