Hi @ivanusaur, You opened your heart ❤️ up to show us your pain and your honesty is greatly appreciated not only by me, but by God himself I’m sure. God I know allows pain and suffering , if we choose to look away from him and go to the evils of the world. It’s very hard not to do, isn’t it ? Everyone falls from grace friend, we’re all sinners. But God never ever leaves us. Hill eventually lift you right out of the gutter, but you first must repent, and pray for forgiveness, second you must pray for his help, and third you must be thankful. And all of this must be done with a sincere heart, or it doesn’t work otherwise. You have to give up the things that you know are wrong, and that God says is wrong. And in the Bible God commands us not to drink 🍷 to drunkenness, period. You can drink, but not to excess. Partying can with addiction be lethal that’s for sure. My husband I together did that stupid stuff like that in high school and college, following the crowd, and the world. Not good. But like you we got smart, helped lots of kids by telling our testimonies. And you know we learned from our mistakes and like you it was a valuable lesson I would not trade. My husband and I turned ourselves around by the mercies of God, we were business owners for almost forty years as well as being married for forty years. We’re retired now. Blue skies are ahead of you dear, your amazing. Keep loving God and others, that’s the key to great success, remember God First before you or anybody else. I give you this heart because you’ve touched mine, and may you be blessed with such success through Steemit and your life’s journey in whatever you do I pray❣️