The Pain I Feel Inside

Problems related to emotions are the hardest one to deal with. It cannot be healed in just a week. It cannot be healed by just simply putting alcohol and doing some first aids cause in the first place the wound is hidden through your heart. Even pain relievers can't ease the pain that you've been going through inside. You're instantly become absentminded, unconsciously staring to something and you can't barely notice the tears that are falling down your face while recalling the moments that had transpired which causes you to feel such pain. Thinking that if you should've done this and not that, everything would still be alright.

I know how it feels cause that's what I exactly been feeling right now. Let me tell you a little story, I and my younger sister had a little fight over not so "serious" matter as how she describes it. And my mom is taking on her side for the sole reason that I should be the one to understand her because I am the eldest. This is not the only time I feel this kind of feeling. You know, doing anything for them isn't always enough. Feeling that your presence or existence isn't highly needed. Feeling that there always pointing fingers on you even if you haven't done anything wrong. I feel like I'm Atlas for a moment, lifting all the loads in the world and its heavy, very heavy. I feel like giving up. Now tell me, is it wrong to fight for something that you, yourself believe its right just because your the eldest? Is it an enough reason to bear all the unbearable pain? I think its unfair.