What It Is Like To Be In a Long Distance Relationship

Does long distance relationship really work?

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We all know that having a lasting romantic relationship is not that easy. Just imagine the struggle when you have an intimate relationship with your partner who is geographically isolated from each other. 

 

I personally know what it’s like. I have been in a relationship with the father of my two daughters for 10 years and for almost 5 years we are not together geographically because his job requires him to be in a place far away from us. 

I could still remember the first time he told me that he will be assigned to work far from us. It was noon when I received a text message from him. He told me to go home as fast as I can because he will have to pack his things and he will leave early tomorrow morning. As soon as I arrived I saw his big bags filled with his things and his cabinet is almost empty. You know how it feels when you are crying from the inside like a baby but have to be a responsible partner on the outside. We had dinner and I was able to fake it but every time I was looking in his eyes I see the same sadness that I am feeling.  It was only 240 km away from us but still it’s hard when you know it would take some time before you will see each other or hold each other’s arms. He stayed there for more than a year but I have to admit it’s not that hard because I’m also busy with my work and my kids and i can call him anytime, and if I really want to be with him it’s just 1000 PHP away for me to go there. He also comes home once a month, to cut the story short we we’re able to survived LDR for the first time, it was just a piece of cake. LOL

Then for the second time that we have to deal with LDR it is harder because it’s 790 km away from us, which requires a plane ticket to be together. He was told that he can go home every other month and we had an agreement that he will be present for all special occasions. Sadly though because of his job he missed special events like birthdays but I know he tried and that’s all that matters. I remember when I was expecting him to be home for Christmas but he was not allowed to go home, we go on a paycheck to paycheck every month, that means we don’t have extra money for a vacation to be with him plus the fact that fares were soaring high during those time of the year but I was able to find a way, we travelled the distance just to be together. As the days goes by phone calls were getting lesser and lesser. Lies kept piling up. Doubts are stronger. I thought we won’t be able to make it. I was religiously praying every night and God answered my prayer he was finally sent home for us to be together again. His absence taught me to give more value to his presence.

Then for the third and the last time he got a 3,437km job away from us, this time it requires a visa to be together, which means there would be no way for us to be with him on special occasions. We could only be with him after 18 months. I could still feel the pain of him leaving but still I was able to keep a smile on my face and didn’t let him see tears from my eyes but as soon as I turned my back tears keeps running down my face but I have to suck it in because I have to be strong for our kids, I was able to gain my composure as we ride a cab on our way home, the driver was listening to an FM station with LeAnn Rimes singing “How Do I Live?” on the background, as I hear quiet sobbing from my kids.

It was the saddest! So we stopped in a store where I bought something for the kids so that I can bring smiles back to their lips. Night time was sad because we always pray at night as a family. First Sunday was sad too, because it’s our family day, we go to church and eat out.  We have to get used of him not being around. I have to act as a mom and a father to the kids, worst is that phone calls were really expensive, internet was really bad that the only communication that we had is only during his office hours, which mostly he's busy working. He became distant.

Little by little long distance relationship took its toll on me. Little by little I start craving for his touch, for his attention, for his affection, for his love. Little by little I lost the smile on my face, I lost confidence, I lost interests in the things that I loved to do. Little by little I started seeing myself drinking more and more, Little by little I spend more and more time in bed. Little by little I was sad, lonely and depress. Little by little he lost me, I lost him. We lost US.

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Thanks for your time! Tata!!
March 10, 2018
Post#7