Exotic Dancers 2 -10pm

If you wish to read further, please be informed that this is a sequel from my original post titled Painful Cold Breeze

Sometimes people around you , dont understand the path you choose in your life journey.

They dont have to, it is not for them.

Settled Down
I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock I’ve bought couple weeks ago. Its 6am, Still on my bed, I look at the sky through the room window, I hope that today will be a lovely day.
It feels a little too cold in the room this morning, I got up from my bed to adjust the room heater but only to find that it has stop working.

Got up my bed, i reaches out to grab the second hand portable heater i got during a trip down to the local car booth sales with uncle jay last week. I also got myself an alarm clock, a portable tiny heater, a mirror and a grey colours nice looking jacket.

It has been three weeks now that I am no longer worked for uncle jay, I got a new job that pays 340 pound for a 5 days work at a damp-proofing company, a room that cost me 70 quid a week, and a second chance in life.

I started going to church every now and then, not just on Sunday. It the only place I can feel at peace.

I still hang out with uncle jay at night, watch telly, help him with cleaning dishes, have dinner together every now and then and listen to him as his share about his perspective on various topics. We had lots of discussion on religion too, I learn a lot about his faith and understanding them through his interpretation, it makes me realized that although I am from Malaysia and most of my relative is Muslim, I know so little. Until i met him.

Cold Breeze
I have not entirely got myself out of my past life misery , but I know I need embrace the bitterness and move on. The same painful cold breeze still hunts me every now and then. I can’t do much except hoping that each day, the pain will be less than the day before . The new job helps occupies my mind, but I still breaks down when certain memories trigger my emotion.

The work that I got myself into is pretty tough. Hacking, Drilling, Chemical, Pipes, Red Brick Cement Mixing and Patching is some of the keyword for the work we do. It hard Labour.

In a day we would go through least 6 – 8 houses throughout London, I would be doing the map reading using the huge mapping book of M25. It was the only thing that guiding a two men team through all location on daily basis. We try to finish early but most of the time I could only reach home by 8 or 9pm.

Source

I’ve made friends with my colleague but I didn’t get super close to any of them. While we did lots of karaoke at The Peahen’s, St Albans, fill our time at quiz night, movie night out, paintballs , football matches and strips bars with exotic dancers usually on Friday, the cold breeze that scares me seems to have numb my heart.

It comes to point that I don’t know what to feel anymore. Day in day out, I gave my all toward the job that I had, it was the only thing that makes sense right now. It pays the bills and over few months, I make quiet an impressive saving.

There was one night, Uncle Jay expresses how proud he was looking as my progress, adapting to my surrounding with little help and thrive. I smile and say thank you.
In all honestly, I don’t see it that way. i had him, I may have did well and adjusted to my surrounding , socialized but deep inside the emotional pain didn’t heal, circumstance just temporarily numb it. The painful cold breeze is still around.

Life Changing
I learned a lot from many kind souls here, some has shape my life perspective, strengthen my faith, others shows that its ok to a little of fun every now and then. I was like a sponge , taking as much I can.

One of the greatest life changing advise that I received is from my elderly boss whom I became closed with. Perhaps it not the advises that is life changing because if you think about it, it is pretty much a very simple advise that anyone else could have said.

Perhaps it was timing or the way he said it or how he elaborated it to me.
I cant really tell, but what I know is, it changes everything.

He said , “ There is three life lesson that I want you to always remember, it helps to be where I am today, it’s a life lesson shared by my late father” .

Seek knowledge
Pick up all kind of books and start reading, ask question.

Confidence and Accountable
Be confidence and accountable in your life decision and words said to others.

Humility
With humility comes wisdom.

Source

These are those life changing advise that I was taught when I was 19, since then I started reading a lot of various book, I became addicted to information , wanted to understand how things around me work .

He also told me that I am naturally a man with confidence, being in UK just an action that shows self-confidence. He also reminded me the difference between being confident and being cocky. The one thing that really open up my mind was when he said with humility comes wisdom.

Because of these advise by my life mentor, I started travelling around, Ireland, Spain , France and all across UK. My travel journey makes everything seem to fall in place.

I don’t feel numb anymore, It reminded me of my real self , a brave and confident soul. I realized everything that ive learn has change my perspective. Being real , embracing my weaknesses and flaws has help me to understand the value of humility in my life journey.

This morning turn out to be a beautiful day, as i walk passed a few row of cafeteria looking about to decide on what i would like to have for brunch. Indecisive, i look at the my trusted watch. i then thought perhaps i should just leave this place and walk to the mall to get some new cloth.

As i made a few step forward, suddenly the familiar cold breeze gush to my face as if pushing my head to the right. There and then i saw it, my assumption was right. For few second we intensely look at each other, she seems at shocked, i smiled and move on.

That very moment i realized, that the painful cold breeze has no affect on me anymore. I felt even more determined to achieve more in life. Even if that familiar breeze passes by again, it will only fuel me to do more greater things.

Source

Why Am I Here

Daniel Doughty loves his community and ideas but hates writing. Steemit is a brilliant platform that would help him express his thoughts and helps him practise his writing, he hopes to get better at it.

He is now a self proclaim steemit evangelist and preacher , encouraging his community in Borneo to use steemit as a bridge to the outside world to build awareness, showcase talents and most importantly to create wealth for themselves.

To find out more on what he does, click HERE