@Centerlink Background Check No. 3 - @Choogirl
There are many different ‘dole bludgers’ out there in Steemit world being supported by @Centerlink. This post is the next in a series of ‘background checks’ on benefit receivers.
Today we will be reviewing some suspicious activities noticed recently by the member @Choogirl.
Not a lot is known about Choogirl’s early life growing up. Some say she was born in a tent out the back of Byron to the father of a the Chooinian Cult. Others say she was born in the back of a ute at the Yatala Drive In, or was it conceived there…. It doesn’t really matter because we don’t really know!
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What we do know is that sometime in the past few years, Choogirl has made a number of trips overseas and is now living somewhere in the depths of South America.
This suspicious activity has forced us to look into her past income sources and the following are her most recent employment:
Yoga master – she has been sweating it out in a room filled with gas and steam – we suspect that this was a cashy job though as she only declared $50 for 3 months of work
Sheep dag remover – cutting the shitty wool from around a sheeps bum is one of the most glamour jobs going around. It seems @choogirl loved this job with a passion and worked as a volunteer as she did not declare any income
The Dalai Lama’s Secretary – said to be an enlightening job, living in Tibet meant that this job was actually out of our jurisdiction
Goat Milker – requiring silky smooth hands, goat milking came natural to choogirl. Sources say, she was paid in milk and cheese???
Source
Choogirl’s last sighting in Australia was at Pacific Fair on the Gold Coast. The exclusive Jimmy Choo store there had a break in that evening and 50 pairs of shoes went missing. From that day forward, Choogirl has not been seen in Australia. She was last sighted in the airport of Panama City, a known tax haven, purportedly swinging around bags of Aussie cash and sporting a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.
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Last know picture of Choogirl
So we sent in our PI to track her down and this is what he found.
Choogirl loves to travel around the world and spends copious amounts of time in Colombia for some reason
In a recent outing to Bangkok, Choogirl purchased 20 identical pairs of headphones and imported brought back into Australia.
She then took a boogie board bag to Bali and returned to Panama without it
Our PI found that she also lives in the Penthouse of the tallest building in Panama City, yet she has no job other than blogging about ChooXena, some mythical beast that wears yoga pant to seduce young men
We also discovered that she continues to collect the Dole….. We cannot understand why or how she is doing this. She is able to lodge a dole form every fortnight in Brisbane. We have managed to intercept her internet traffic and she appears to be communicating with someone called the big G about ‘Wood and Pumping’? This leads us to believe that some sex shop perve who lives in Brisbane is dodging these for her. Futher investigation is needed to confirm this.
Until then, Choogirl is eligible to receive the payments, although she is one dodgy lady……
We will be watching you @Choogirl and your 'headphone selling business'.....
It was a big big mystery. I still don't know what she does or where she lives.
Brilliant write-up and very enlightening!! It explains everything!😂😂
upvote and resteemed. Cheers centerlink.
Ha! Thanks for the expose Centerlink. However, as a vegan I would not accept payment in milk and cheese. You should know this. So as usual, your idiot bureaucrats have effed up their investigations and I'm in the clear.
Awesome post , Followed :)
thank you so much
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STOPI missed this one. Hilarious! Good work @choogirl