ALL OF THIS IS AMAZING!

The dress, the stories, the words, the photos, each bit is even betterer than the last. My first American Walmart experience I was getting some apples and I freaked out when someone licked my elbow... that's when I realized everyone drives motorized carts around because they're too huge for shopping, and all the carts have tiny licky dogs in them. My second Walmart experience literally had 500-1000 dudes watching other dudes bounce their cars so high that their rear bumper hits the ground. I've seen Grandmas in carts smack random loud children with their canes and punch ons at the check out.... Walmart has never disappointed ever.

Nice work on the beads! That's one for Never Have I Ever.
So glad nobody died in a ditch, that's probably the best part (incorrect - daytime nap hugs was the best part) - but it's a very good part. Oh, Crimmy (@crimsonclad) I'll be up your way at the end of this month, meet you at Wholefoods to discuss the official order of Noel's best shirts?