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RE: Tarot Tuesday weekly reading for August 13th 2019
You're like the spark in my bonfire heart. That's a beautiful tune. I'll have to think about this, as I do feel pretty much trapped and unable to start any new ventures or take on any new passions. (Unless we count the three hours I've spent today trying to upload a video I took to Dtube)
Sounds like you too chose Door #3, Ace of Swords: Time for challenges. You've had an "AHA!" moment. Now is the moment to pick up the sword, and cut the deadwood out of your life. I hear that message every morning, every night. I somehow manage to ignore it every day!
Seems to me your life is full to the brim of good things, hardly deadwood. It can mean cut the deadwood out of your mind though. I'm reminded of how many times you allude to your dark side, then show us nothing but light.
I got #1, and I am having difficulty with it. I don't see it at all.
Why are people like you so few and far between? You're too nice to me! I mean well but all too often I fail to do well by others. Thoughtlessness, laziness, ignorance, who knows what all causes me to fail to do good. Deadwood of the mind - blockhead? - LOL! Maybe a sister jinxed me in childhood. Charlie Brown after all made Blockhead a popular term of endearment. (Or lack of endearment.)
Door #1 - Opportunity awaits! Something has sparked for you,
*and now is the time to fan that tiny spark into a roaring fire....You also need to do the work to get those flames burning, instead of just imagining how warm it will be. *
Well, it is just a Tarot card, not a blueprint for your life, not a burning bush like Moses being summoned by God. Read into it what you will. Does it relate to your writing fiction...? You can do it!! Even if it's by hand writing three pages on lined paper first thing every morning before you get out of bed. (Says the woman who never practices what she preaches.)
Girl, I have a severely disabled son whose care requires an awful lot from me and has me largely trapped in my home. That makes it sound pretty bleak, but it's got its blessings for sure. For one, I am very close to my brilliant adult son, who pushes me to think, reassess, find patience even in the bottom of the barrels, and appreciate the smaller, holier things in my life. But he does cramp my venturing forth especially ventures outside of the house. Steem certainly has afforded me the world just sitting here at my kitchen table .
I sing, I dance, I garden (used to - too afraid of the ticks this year!) I play the piano and I write, all right here at home. That one of these might be the source of a tiny spark I can fan into a fire seems like it might take all the fun out of it!
Writing fiction is great when it's a freewrite and a story just comes spurting out, but the couple of times I've deliberately set out to write a story have resulted in drivel. So disappointing! And stressful. I have enough stress.
You could be right though. of course
And the cards never lie. I'll have to think about this. Thanks for the encouragement.
you daf xo
I'm so sorry you're housebound for that reason--every mother wants her children to be healthy and happy--and not all moms can manage the above-and-beyond challenges the way you have. I'm in awe of the sacrifices of time, energy, resources, and freedom some parents are called to make when their children suffer mental or physical maladies. I hope you have friends and neighbors to help. The more isolated we are, the less help there is. Your capacity "to find patience even in the bottom of the barrels, and appreciate the smaller, holier things in my life" makes me think of a book I bought many years ago, Diapers, Pacifiers, and Other Holy Things by Lorraine M. Pintus. It inspired me to take up the habit of mediation or prayer ("God, if you're there, I'm here, listening--put me on auto-pilot, take command, make some decisions for me, put words in my mouth, lest I blow up or tell my toddlers I'm running away from home!" They never once threatened to do that, but I did, like, all the time: That's it! I'm running away now! You figure out how to carry on without me.)
Servitude:
Wow, it's been years since I looked at this book. Decades, even.
The author interview is interesting and you don't have to believe in God to believe in something New Age or some transcendent Something that we need to believe is with us, giving us strength and willpower to go on. Me, no, I never seem to sense that presence, but I never stop hoping to.
Honest (oh, I pray ALWAYS honest). Quirky. Deeply passionate. And prayerful. While my fingers fly across the keyboard, I pray that God will speak His Words through me and that His Holy Spirit will fill the white space between the words so that the reader will feel as if God is speaking through me to them.
It’s a compulsion. I identify with Jesus’ disciples in Acts 4:20, “For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” God has done so much in my life. He’s taken my poor choices, cleaned them up, and somehow turned them around to be used for His glory. Every day He cleans up the “stink” in my life and perfumes me with the fragrance of Christ. You’ve just GOT to be crazy about a God who does things like that! I feel compelled to open my mouth and to turn on my computer and tell others how great God is, to remind them that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH HIM. Is that good news or what?
Me again:
I've met sooo many mothers who've said this. Mothers. Saints. Martyrs. Holocaust survivors. Prisoners on death row who were innocent. Cancer patients who couldn't have endured the pain and survived without God.
I'm told the only reason I haven't experienced *God this way is because I'm arrogant, I dare to question the ways of God, I'm "blocked," I am not open to receiving, yada yada.
So much for "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed" - but I digress.
My brain isn't wired for belief. Maybe it's my chakras that are blocked, not my humility. Me, lacking in humility: not because I imagine I'm great or skilled or smarter than others, but because I think "That doesn't make sense. It doesn't sound true." And I'm the heretic, the egotist, the fist-shaking servant of Lucifer, because theology requires me to accept a tenuous premise and circular reasoning and about as many excuses as a battered wife makes...
Sorry. I go now.
God has done so much in my life. He’s taken my poor choices, cleaned them up, and somehow turned them around to be used for His glory.
I'm not religious, I have faith the size of a mustard seed, but I love that statement. I like to think I do that for myself though. It can be done! I take my poor choices, clean them up and somehow turn them around to be used for my own, what? Not sure what that last word should be. Cogitating time.
"For my own..." greater good, maybe? I'm a heretic, a skeptic, indoctrinated since infancy with a Fundamentalist view of the Bible, but it didn't stick: I couldn't internalize it. I married into Catholicism and gave it my all, but couldn't internalize the Morning Offering either:
Dear Lord, I do not know what will happen to me today. I only know that nothing will happen that was not foreseen by You,
so far, so good,
and directed to my greater good from all eternity.
(What about the Holocaust, the senseless tragedies, the ruined lives...)
I adore Your holy and unfathomable plans, and submit to them with all my heart for love of You, the Pope, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Amen.
I like your view, that you're doing it yourself, directing all the detritus and tragedy toward your own greater good. But I continue to want what was promised to me from infancy: God as our pilot (not just co-pilot), a presence who is with us always. Why do others know God if I don't or can't?
Channeling Lucy here (of Charlie Brown fame, so take this in jest please):
I only want what's coming to me!
It's funny because of course I went through the same life shift all mothers go through I would imagine - "I am now on call 24/7, could be needed at any moment, and can't count on a damn thing for myself". I got through all that, figured out how to cope with the demands and still have a life of my own outside of the house. As a damn teacher in my kids' school! Bad move. Learned a lot.
Now I have one who really can not do much of anything for himself, he can't ever get out of bed. Everything is done by yours truly. And you know what? As difficult as that is, I'm a fairly happy individual, happier than I was when I was a boss of many, making money, a good reputation (just came across my first mention in the NYTimes while sorting through a box of crap) and the world at my feet compared to now.
You are right that the more isolated we are, the less help there is. Doesn't help that I don't ask either. But when I do, no one hesitates, so there's that.
It's all good.
Thanks for the book recommendation. Sounds very helpful. Will do.
The book recommendation? It won't likely do much for you - you could write the book, and a better one at that. And what's this about your FIRST mention, not just A mention, in the NYTimes? Tell us more!
Here's a great opener to a story:
I was a boss of many, making money, with a good reputation, and the world at my feet. Until....
From infancy I was indoctrinated with "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble..." but now it seems Steemit is our refuge and strength!
You make a very compelling point: we tend not to ask for help. But if we ask for it, we usually receive it. Some people hit up others for help all the time. Routinely. "No man is an island," but a lot of mothers seem to be.
Wishing you many helping hands and an excess of energy, time, fortitude, and good cheer!
My secret past life as a restaurateur, now I'm a nobody! I'm happier as a nobody - fewer people expecting me to do things for them.
I think about writing about my past as a somebody, but the thought makes me very tired so I don't. Blech.
That is because you don't act but walk around in circles. The card says: nothing will change if you don't kick your ass and start (working for it).
There is a solution for everything. The solution is you (have to) change.
💕
"you don't act but walk around in circles" - with fingers in my ears and blinders on my eyes!
It occurs to me that I need to steal your words, appropriate them, hand them over to Rory, so he can tell DeLorean to get her act together (in Mom's Cousin Lenna). You have handed me the card I needed to get back to those two! I can hear Rory say this to her: There is a solution for everything. The solution is you (have to) change.
Hurry back to your story and start writing! This is what writers do. Luck, luck and 💕 for you.
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