Space That Gives Us Pause ~ The Real Secret To Communicating

Image

Contemplating communication in general has recently given me pause. Oh yes, pause. I am a listener as well as a talker. I love to hear what people have to say and, sure, I get excited during some conversations and the space between words being shared becomes less and less. Often to the point where the conversation is spilling over back and forth and you can barely discern where one thought ends and another begins.

I have lived with the mental horror that some close friends that I've had for decades are terrible conversationalists. It's not for typical reasons either. It's not really for many of the reasons that conversations spill over.

One friend that I have has an IQ so high that he's nearly psychic and can process conversations at light speed and nearly knows what you will say before you say it. That said, it's a habit I have done everything to help him kick. I've done everything from just talking over him until he rumbles to a halt and stares at me. I've tried jumping in enthusiastically out of place to startle and confuse him, then say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you took a breath.' Nothing works. He's just wired that way and it's not 'fixable'. And it's ok. He's a good friend and a good guy, and after 25 years of friendship my ears can bench press our one sided conversations pretty well.

Generally speaking though, I do prefer to speak with people who can give some space or a pause to invite you to respond. I do try to do that and at the very least, it is something I am attuned to and very conscious of. I guess the question that is always on my mind is this:

Why don't some people want to hear others as much as they want to be heard? I'm sure there are many shades of reasons.

Bug