The Lover is an archetype focused on deep, passionate connections, usually of a romantic nature. As opposed to the Caregiver, Warrior, or Innocent, the relationships they form with others do not stem from a basis of need, but rather of desire. Although this desire may be platonic, it is motivated by a want for mutual development, or at least is characterized by a lack of necessity.

The Lover is heavily influenced by romantic, and often erotic, interests. Although I will not get into graphic details, some of the contents of this article are naturally darker and more sexualized than the other articles in this series.

Background

For those of us just seeing this series for the first time, I'm writing a series on using Pearson's personality archetypes (affiliate link) in storytelling. This profile, of the Lover, is the ninth of twelve entries in this series, following the Destroyer, Orphan, Innocent, the Sage, the Warrior, the Ruler, the Magician, and the Caregiver. You might also be interested in my earlier series on the Hero and Hero's Journey and the Nemesis.

If you just want a quick recap or introduction, here's the gist: archetypes are recurring patterns that have proven to be pretty universal. They're cognitive schemes that allow us to examine behavior and narratives in light of a coherent whole. That makes them valuable tools to audiences and storytellers, since they make stories authentic and lend them meaning.

Understanding the Lover

The Lover, as a character, is defined by their attachment to someone else on the basis of either desire or admiration. Although this relationship can be platonic, it is also typically accompanied by at least some romantic or sexual component.

The Lover isn't driven by need, at least not as a prime directive: this would be the sort of relationship that an Innocent is likely to enter into (where the object of affections is viewed as having a responsibility for the Innocent's needs). Rather, it's driven by a mixed bag of motives, generally focusing on either wanting to spend time with the object of the Lover's affection or wanting to form the basis for the Lover's conception of Truth based on their beloved.

The Romantic movement is heavily focused on Lover archetypes, with Goethe's Werther (a semi-autobiographical character) being a great example of this archetype. Werther is something of a pitiful individual; although his motives are great, he winds up pursuing the object of his affections, Lotte, despite many clues that his affections are unrequited and the fact that she is engaged to another man.

The Lover is also heralded in many of the great works of chivalry, and in folklore and fiction, though they are not as commonly depicted as positive figures as they might seem at first. Like Werther, many of the Lovers in fiction tend to pursue a forbidden love–if there is to be a conflict built around the Lover it has to come from some sort of difficulty–though it is possible for a truly heroic Lover to do so (e.g. stories in which the Lover overcomes social bias to be with their beloved).

The Biblical Jacob also undergoes a stint with the Lover as his dominant archetype during his quest to wed Rachel. This is noteworthy because typically the Lover's conflict has to do with the external world, but Jacob's Hero's Journey, at this stage in his life, revolves around entering the unknown (Laban's house) and returning as the master of that world and his own by acquiring the object of his love. This requires many years of labor from Jacob, and he is betrayed by his uncle Laban in an echo of his own betrayal of his brother Esau, whom he later seeks reconciliation with (an example of the platonic Lover, since Lovers can also pursue a sibling relationship, albeit with less inherent reward than a romantic one).

Jacob Talks with Laban, by Charles Foster

Penelope in Homer's Odyssey is another example of a Lover figure, who is so deeply in love with her husband that she refuses to accept his likely death or abandonment (something that would make her a tragic figure, were she not correct in her assumption that Odysseus was still alive). She is even heroic in her own right, balancing her role as a Caregiver for her son and a Lover to her husband while suitors attempt to win her hand in marriage and plunder the riches of her land.

Religious mystics may also become the Lover, depending on how they view their faith. It is more likely that a mystic will represent the Sage, but those who are enraptured by the mere contemplation of the divine may find a sort of platonic or even romantic love unfolding.

The Tragic Lover

The Lover as a tragic figure can be doomed to unrequited love, but they often start to give in to other problems that relate to their archetype.

The first example, of unrequited love, is perhaps best found in Goethe's Werther. When the object of his affections denies him, Werther undergoes a psychological transformation, seeking to find a way to redeem himself in her eyes and ultimately devolving to the point of effectively stalking Lotte.

Werther comes to the point where he decides that one part of the love triangle he has found himself embedded in must die (originally wishing ill on Lotte's husband, Albert, but not quite reaching the point where he could bring himself to do any harm). Eventually Lotte politely asks Werther to give her distance, and this leads both of them to a teary split, as Werther had managed to endear himself to Lotte through his dedication and devotion.

Eventually, Werther asks to borrow Albert's pistols and commits suicide with them, incapable of dealing with the separation from his beloved.

Werther and Lotte, based on a painting by H. Kaulbach
The tragic Lover needs to find something to make up for unrequited love, or their inability to fully pursue their love, and this is usually destructive. They may become obsessive, like Werther, or channel their desire into other relationships that leave them unfulfilled.

Another alternative is that the Lover can become disenfranchised and wholly swear off love, leading to a rejection of the things they value and that would ultimately have the best chance of bringing them true happiness.

This sort of tragic Lover comes in George Bernard Shaw's interpretation of the the Pygmalion myth, where the Lover's affections are ultimately driven toward an ideal, rather than a realistic depiction. In George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion (also My Fair Lady, which is based upon Shaw's work), Henry Higgins and Colonel Pickering take on the role of a platonic-turned-romantic Lover and a platonic Lover respectively, who undertake the process of turning a lowly flower girl into a lady of high society.

Although the Pygmalion figure (Higgins or in the myth Pygmalion) has an ideal love (Pygmalion for a statue that he creates), their love object is not necessarily interested in requiting their affections. In Shaw's play, Eliza (the flower girl) chooses a suitor in place of Higgins, who never openly admits his love for Eliza but hints at it through his possessive attitude toward her (some of this is further confirmed in Shaw's epilogue).

A stage production of Pygmalion on Broadway, image in the public domain.

The Villainous Lover

The villainous Lover, when faced with the lack of affection from their beloved or the unobtainable nature of their desired nature, schemes and connives to achieve their goals. They may turn their beloved into a target of victimization in a misguided effort to win them over.

As with the tragic lover, they also may attempt to pour their love into other relationships, but they do so with bitterness; their goal is not to search for a replacement for their beloved, seeking healing of wounds, but rather to engage in a self-indulgent pursuit of sex or social status that comes with a relationship.

The Lover often pairs with the Destroyer archetype when it is unfulfilled, turning to addiction or self-destruction, but this can also be manifested in violence against both strangers and the beloved, including murder or rape.

Alternatively, the villainous Lover can also engage in entirely consensual relationships, but with no intent of participating in them as an equal partner, using and ditching their amours without a thought for the consequences of their short and often decadent relationships.

It is rare to see a villainous platonic Lover, but in such cases the Lover can manifest these same feelings in a manner similar to the Destroyer, but with the more malicious bent of intentionally denying love (and the potential to be loved by others) to those that they despise and loathe.

A final outcome of the villainous Lover is a rigidly enforced puritanism that can manifest in the form of mania and coercion, with the fallen Lover trying to make others' relationships be seen as impure or unclean, condemning their former beloved along with anyone else who resembles them (either physically or by nature of their social role/part in a relationship).

The Lover in Star Wars

The best example of the Lover in Star Wars is probably Padmé Amidala, especially in Episode III where her relationship with Anakin comes to a head.

Padmé is a rare example of a tragic Lover whose tragic nature comes from an unusual interaction with the Innocent archetype; her love and romantic idealization of Anakin blinds her to the Shadow in his personality, leading to a conflict between them when the ideal Anakin that she loves comes into conflict with the reality of who he has become.

This is ultimately the cause of Padmé's demise, because she confronts him with an expectation that he will respond in the same manner as a Lover would (talking and seeking a mutually beneficial arrangement) where in fact Anakin's Ruler archetype causes him to respond negatively as he believes his authority has been questioned.

Using the Lover in Storytelling

The Lover allows a storyteller to weave a story that ties into one of the most important human connections. The purpose of the Lover is to show us how to connect to other people–or what to avoid when trying to.

The Lover is devoted and dedicated, which can make them a good heroic or supporting figure. Because they have a deep desire for connections, they often move beyond simple romantic relationships with one partner to wanting to seek a similar level of peace and harmony in their larger relationships, if they are virtuous enough to resist the temptation to seek the comfort of the familiar.

Unlike most of the other archetypes, the Lover can truly become an equal member of society without being self-conscious about their role in it. Many Lover figures hold a platonic ideal that they will seek to fight for, though this can often overlap with the Innocent, the difference is that the Lover is willing to sacrifice for a cause they know to be flawed because they feel it is simply that valuable.

The Lover can also feature in tragic roles as a figure that wants to seek something that is unavailable to many. The pursuit of love is a noble thing, so a tragic Lover may even serve as an obstacle to a hero who is on their Hero's Journey: they are so in love that they seek the hero's affection. This, unfortunately, would lead to the hero abandoning their quest and their duty, or at least delaying it, which makes them a temptation.

In such a case, the hero may return later as the master of both ordinary and supernatural worlds to return the Lover's affection.

Another powerful use of the Lover archetype is to include a Lover who is called away from their partner due to some circumstance, and use that as a driving impetus for their Hero's Journey: they must overcome the challenges keeping them from returning to their beloved.

Using the Lover in Games

The fundamental issue with trying to implement the Lover in a game is that they are fundamentally based on connections, and it is likely that the characters may not click effectively.

Unlike most of the other archetypes, who draw from their surroundings, the Lover draws on the other archetypes; they tend to attach to people who are highly dominant in one particular archetype, though this is by no means universally true, as the Lover's desire is an expression of aesthetic and romantic appreciation.

As a result, the focus for encouraging Lovers should be to provide a situation where they can interact with many others and select a worthy target for their affections.

Wrapping Up

The Lover is an expression of desire and longing, and they can lend a lot to stories. They show us what is admirable through their devotion to it, which gives us important lessons about what is good in the world. They also are willing to express virtues that are lacking in many of the other archetypes, demonstrating an other-focused propensity.

However, the Lover is very vulnerable, and when they are consumed by their Shadow they may become bitter or vengeful, sometimes even to the point of self-destruction.