Pretentious Wine Table for RPGs

Need a snotty and superior description for a wine (or other drink) in your game? Look no further. (Note that ALL of these are taken from real wine descriptions!)

Roll 2d4 and then roll on the following tables that many times to get your wine’s characteristics.

D6: 1-2 column 1, 3-4 column 2, 5-6 column 3.

Don’t forget to categorise these descriptions within the following sort of things: Aftertaste, Aroma/Bouquet/Nose, Body, Definition, Finish, Midpalate, Palate, Structure, Texture, Undertone

Example:
Taken from the Queen’s personal reserve only five bottles of Synotian Melon-wine remain in existence.

(2d4, total 4 characteristics)

Column 1: Charming
Column 2: Lavender
Column 2: Lean
Column 3: Sweet

Description: The Queen’s-Label, Melon-wine, is a charming little wine with a lavender bouquet, a lean flavour on the palate and a sweet finish.

Roll d100	Column 1	Column 2	Column 3
1	Acacia	Egg	Orange
2	Accessible	Elderflower	Orange Blossom
3	Acidic	Elegant	Oxidized
4	Aggressive	Eucalyptus	Passion Fruit
5	Alcoholic	Expansive	Pea
6	Almond	Expressive	Peach
7	Aniseed	Extracted	Peanut
8	Appley	Fallen over	Pear
9	Apple Blossom	Farmyardy	Peardrops
10	Apple Peel	Fat	Pebble
11	Apricot	Feminine	Peppermint
12	Asparagus	Fennel	Peppery
13	Baked	Fig	Herbaceous
14	Banana	Finesse	Petrolly
15	Barnyard	Firm	Pine
16	Basil	Flabby	Pineapple
17	Beery	Flat	Plastic
18	Beetroot	Fleshy	Plummy
19	Bell Pepper	Flinty	Polished
20	Big	Floral	Polythene
21	Biscuity	Flowery-Fruity	Popcorn
22	Bite	Foxy	Potato
23	Bitter	Fresh	Powerful
24	Black Pepper	Fruit	Prickly
25	Blackberry	Full	Prune
26	Blackcurrant	Garlic	Quince
27	Blackcurrant Leaf	Gas	Racy
28	Blowzy	Gasoline	Raisin
29	Blue Cheese	Geranium	Raspberry
30	Blueberry	Gingerbread	Redcurrant
31	Brazil Nut	Goat	Reticent
32	Bread	Gooseberry	Rhubarb
33	Bright	Grapefruit	Rich
34	Broad Bean	Grapey	Robust
35	Bubble-Gum	Grassy	Rose Petal
36	Burnt	Green	Rotten Egg
37	Burnt Match	Green Apple	Round
38	Burnt Rubber	Green Pepper	Rubber
39	Buttermilk	Greengage	Sassy
40	Butterscotch	Gutsy	Sauerkraut
41	Buttery	Hard	Sharp
42	Cabbage	Harsh	Sherry-like
43	Camphor	Hay	Short
44	Candle-Wax	Hazelnut	Skunk
45	Candy	Heavy	Smokey
46	Candyfloss	Herbaceous	Smoky-Spicy
47	Capsicum	Herbal	Smoky-Toasty-Burnt
48	Caramel	Hollow	Smooth
49	Carnation	Honey	Soapy
50	Cassis	Horse	Soft
51	Cat-Pee	Hot	Sour
52	Cauliflower	Inky	Soy Sauce
53	Cedarwood	Jammy	Spearmint
54	Celery	Kerosene	Spicy
55	Chalk Dust	Lavender	Stables
56	Charming	Lean	Stalky
57	Cheesy	Leathery	Stemmy
58	Cherry	Lemony	Stewed Apple
59	Chewy	Light-Struck	Stilton
60	Chive	Lilac	Strawberry
61	Chocolaty	Lily Of The Valley	Summer Fruits
62	Cigar-box	Lime	Supple
63	Cinnamon	Lime Tree	Sweaty
64	Citrus	Linalool	Sweaty Saddles
65	Classic	Liquorice	Sweet
66	Clean	Liveliness	Sweet Pepper
67	Clear	Luscious	Tannic
68	Closed	Lychee	Tar
69	Clove	Macaroon	Tarragon
70	Cloying	Magnolia	Tart
71	Coarse	Malt	Tea
72	Cocoa	Mandarin	Thin
73	Coconut	Manure	Thirst-quenching
74	Coffee	Margarine	Tight
75	Compact	Marsh-Mallow	Toasty
76	Complete	Marzipan	Tobacco
77	Complex	Mature	Toffee
78	Concentrated	Mean	Tomato
79	Concoction	Meaty	Tomato Leaf
80	Connected	Mellow	Tropical Fruit
81	Cooked	Melon	Truffle
82	Corky	Metallic	Unoaked
83	Corn-On-The-Cob	Milky	Upfront
84	Cranberry	Mineraly	Urine
85	Creamy	Mint	Vanilla
86	Crisp	Mothballs	Vegetal
87	Crust	Mouldy	Vinegar
88	Cucumber	Mouse	Violet
89	Currant Leaf	Muscat	Vivid
90	Delicate	Mushroom	Voluptuous
91	Depth	Musky	Walnut
92	Dirty	Musty	Warm
93	Dirty Dishcloth	Nail-Polish	Watery
94	Dried Fruit	Nervy	Wax & Honey
95	Dried up	Nutty	Wet Dog
96	Dry	Oaky	White Pepper
97	Dusty	Oily	Yeasty
98	Earthy	Old	Young
99	Easy	Onion	Zesty
100	Edgy	Opulent	Zippy