5 Live-Saving Facts About Swedes [TOURISM]

mus (62)in #sweden • 8 years ago (edited)

If you've ever thought of visiting Sweden, here are 5 extremely important facts about its people to keep you out of trouble.

The voice of a Swede during the course of his lifetime never goes above 10dB. If it does, he’s Danish. This is why you almost never understand Swedes and need to ask them what they said 10 times. That’s why they seem to talk so much. In reality, they just repeat the same sentence over and over again.
To get a date in Sweden, you need to have been friends with a girl since you were 3 years old. Otherwise it is impossible. You will die a virgin. I’m sorry… Swedes might seem to be such great couples, but that’s because they bonded when they played at daycare, and they’re the only ones that go outside. 90% of Swedes are domesticated indoors animals.
The only time Swedes smile is when they talk about the weather with their acquaintances and when enjoying their precious “saft och bulle” during their "fika" break. It’s not uncommon to receive a mere blank stare at any given moment during the day of a Swede.
Swedish people are the most law-abiding citizens on earth. Ride your bike on the wrong side of the road and you will risk giving any nearby Swede a brain aneurysm. White road markings are like the Swedish first amendment. They will fight you about it until you submit. Ignoring them will lead to police arrest.
Going for a walk in the middle of the night, if you're not in Stockholm, will automatically make you a criminal. Swedes go to bed at 10 pm.