The Common Denominator of Success

I have to admit I'm blessed to be able to do what I do for a living. Since I graduated from the University of San Diego in 1998 I've been in financial services for all but 3 years (those years at Pacific Bell/SBC were every bit as the Dilbert comic strip describes).

I set my own hours running my life insurance business where as an authorized licensed advisor I teach a financial strategy commonly called Infinite Banking or Bank On Yourself. In addition, I am a consultant to other advisors where I have the privilege of helping advisors grow their life insurance business. Being my own boss allows me block off time for family as well as for my outside pursuits: I play basketball a couple times a week, play indoor soccer once a week, play and manage a competitive outdoor soccer team on Sundays in the Fall while also coaching a competitive u13 boys soccer team for Mustang in the city of Danville (State Cup champions in 2015 and 2016!).

And if I'm not doing any of these things, I'm usually vacationing to some place (ideally) new with the goal of a vacation every 90 days. Last year's trips included a 2 week trip to Croatia with a 3 day stop in Prague.

I also visited Banff, Canada and did the dog-sledding thing there (loved it!).

One week in Playa Del Carmen having fun at an all-inclusive adult only resort

and then 2 weeks in the visiting family in the midwest with stops at Cooperstown, New York to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame

and Niagara Falls, and even caught an Indians baseball game in the sweltering midday heat (not recommended) on our way thru Cleveland to the sleepy town of Hamilton, Indiana.

This year I've spent a week in Seattle, weekend in Tahoe, made a trip to Rochester Hills, Michigan (although I confess that was for the annual Bank On Yourself conference, but is it work if you love what you do?). On July 7th I leave for Yellowstone and the Grand Teton National Park for two weeks. In August, I'll be in Healdsburg wine country mid-week touring the countryside on bike and tasting wine. Then in September, in the midst of soccer season (life does come with a few compromises...), I'll be touring the French and Italian Riveria with my wife.

Why do I share this? Well, it's because I'm living the life I always wanted but it really wasn't long ago that my life was for a time in the dumps... but things can change for the better.

It's rather poignant that I spoke today with a financial advisor struggling in his business who wants to grow his practice and have ability to enjoy life without the daily stresses of making ends meet. He's been searching for the answer and our paths happened to cross today as he sought advice in building his practice. He shared with me quote from the Book of Proverbs:

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick."

It's a quote that has special meaning to him because he's been hoping for a long time to attain a higher level of success and has grown frustrated by general the lack of progress.

This gentleman has been a life long advisor and at age 55 is still struggling to make ends meet. For me, it's frustrating to hear these stories and I empathize greatly because I've been there myself at two different points in my life. The first time when I started out of college and then again when I got back into the business. I hear these struggles from advisors more often than not and from more advisors than you'd care to know.

They've tried every sales system out there and nothing has worked. Their appointment book is light and because they're struggling to put food on the table, when they do meet with potential clients, they have commission breath hanging all over them. It's a perpetual cycle.

I've been there. I know it. I'm grateful to be well beyond it.

Some of it is luck but in truth just a little. Success does boil down to hard work and perservence and being prepared when the opportunity arises. But along the way, I've discovered there's something more important than all the hard work in the world and it's this...

How you think will influence everything you do. Mindset is everything. It can't be quantified but you know it when you see it in someone. Think of all the successful people you've come across in your life. They probably had a certain energy about them. Their positivity and confidence is unwavering and their belief in themselves is resolute.

Successful people have subconsciously trained themselves to go after what they really want and keep going until their goals are accomplished. They are able to break through their terror barriers where others stop at the proverbial cliff unable to find the conviction needed to make the leap of faith.

The secret to achieving success is deeply rooted in your subconscious. It's not something that happens simply because you have an idea of success. In order for an idea to take root in your subconscious, you have to obsess about it to the point it's all you really think about it. Ask your subconscious a question and invariably your brain will seek the answer. It's no short of a miracle what our mental faculties are capable of. Mankind is the highest form of creation and when we tap into the unlimited reservoir of ingenuity and power sitting in that gray matter floating above our shoulders, truly anything is possible.

I think about my success, the road I traveled and what I attribute it to has nothing to do with my skill level or knowledge level. I'm quite sure there are more gifted speakers than me. I know there are others with a higher IQ.

I nearly left the financial services business for the second time in 2010 because I was barely making ends meet. I had 3 very young kids, one still in diapers, and a wife that wanted a better life. It was a real struggle to keep going with limited sales and a meager pipeline.

It was at that point, she told me to give up my dream and get a corporate job. So that's what I did, sort of. Very quickly I landed a sales job at Oracle where my I'd work an east coast territory requiring me to drive an hour to work to get started at 4am. I'd still take calls for what ever prospects I had during my lunch break and then go on appointments after my day job finished.

Four weeks into it, I said no more. I was either going to do one or the other and I saw 2 different paths depending which way I chose. One had the illusion of more security but I'd have a corporate ladder to climb. The biggest issue with the corporate job is that I wasn't passionate about it even though I knew it would allow me to provide for my family. The other path was completely unwritten with no income security and completely up to me to make work and if I did, I'd have the lifestyle I always wanted.

I knew the best choice for me. I had to follow my heart. In doing so, my life forked in a major way. My divorce came a few months later as I continued to struggle growing my business. I started 2011 taking on debt from the divorce and no consistent income. All I had was my belief in myself, 3 Whole Life policies with cash value, and the mindset that I would make it.

It would take me 2 years to really get going in my business. Way too long looking back on it now but I didn't know what I know now. I had to make a lot of mistakes to figure things out but in doing so I learned from each mistake. I also learned that my mindset was the biggest driving force pushing me forward. At the time I knew my choice would surely lead to divorce if I couldn't make ends meet supporting a wife and 3 kids in the expensive Bay Area in a very short period of time. I stuck to my guns though.

I was resolute that I was going to be successful no matter how long I struggled. I wouldn't give up and walk away from the financial services field for a second time.

Fast forward to 2017 and I'm re-married, moving to my dream home in Danville, California and I have thriving business that I am so happy and grateful for all because I believed in myself and I focused every resource, creative and financial, into my business. If you've ever been at that fork in the road, you know what I'm talking about. It requires a leap of faith and conviction to choose the path that is unknown but the pay off is real. As hokey as it sounds, you have to believe in yourself even if no one else will, including your spo. No one will ever be as committed to your own success as you. That's the cold hard truth.

Wishing you much success in your endeavors and, most importantly, that your belief in yourself never wavers.