Achievement is a trap and it’s our instinct’s fault

Have you ever noticed that we are hard wired not to care
what is on the other side of our goals?

I should not have kissed her.
I should not have got her number.
I should not have asked her out to the movies.
I should not have brought flowers.
And I definitely should NOT have put on that Batman costume.

In hindsight, the experience was a complete failure.
A tragic mistake.
In foresight, it was a mistake too.
I knew that it would cause nothing but trouble.
But somehow it just seemed like a mistake worth making.

And it taught me a really interesting lesson:
Sometimes “achievement” is a seductive lie.

Just think about that for a second.

"Achievement Is A Seductive Lie"

It’s like the other day I was talking to a friend of mine, reflecting back on our years
where we played soccer together. We were talking about our golden days, and about
how he got selected in the international football team to tour the USA.

He was reflecting on how he was never such a talented player.
He didn’t work all that hard either.
But he said he wanted that jersey so bad it would keep him up at night.
He would imagine how it would feel to wear his country's jersey to the shops
and how people would be impressed by it.

“To be honest, that’s what I was focused on. I was focused on selection.
On the honour that would come with that. I actually never thought past it –
to what it would be like to actually play for my country"

“I would just go over and over it in my mind. What it would be like to hear
my name called out on the stadium megaphone. Calling my family back home
to let them know I was in. Getting my tracksuit and ticket to the playoffs in the mail.
I wanted it so bad I could literally taste it.”

And in the end, at the playoffs, which was where much of the selection took place,
he just had a blinder of a game.
Everything fell into place for him. He surprised everyone, including himself.

And he got selected.

The dream came true.

And what was it like to play for his country? Well, he never went.
He injured his knee and stayed home.

“I wasn’t as disappointed as you’d think. I’d got what I wanted, truth be told.
The universe had delivered. It had given me everything I had called in.
I’d just forgotten to ask for anything beyond the jersey!”

Good that he can laugh about it now. Getting old is good like that.

I feel like a see this a bit with people’s success journeys.
When you dig into the kinds of things they’re striving for,
often it’s the moment of the achievement itself, not the fruits of that achievement.

Take a simple example. Say someone wants a flashy new car.
Now, do they really want a shiny Chevrolet?
Or do they want that moment when their neighbours see their car in the driveway for the first time?
Do they want bragging rights to their friends?
Do they just want to be able to tell themselves, “It’s OK. Life’s going all right. We’ve got a Chevrolet…”

What’s the problem with this?

Well, #1, you will never be satisfied.

If the problem is the stories you’re telling about yourself, those stories will always
reassert themselves, no matter how many cars or boats and vintage fighter planes you throw at them.

You are running around in circles, like an over-excited dog chasing it's own tail

#2 -it’s a total waste of energy. If you want a new story about who you are and how you’re going in the world,
just tell the story. You have that power and it is as easy as that.

The point that I want to make today is don’t beat yourself up about it.
Recognise that humans are hard-wired to focus on achievement, not the fruits of that achievement.

Our instincts drive us in this way.
It’d be too much work and energy if your instincts had to convince you of the benefits associated with every motivation.

For example, our don’t instincts don’t say:

“You should eat apples because they’re healthy and nutritious and they will give us the energy we need to sustain our endeavours.”

No. They say, “Get shiny sweet things and put them in your mouth.”

And that is literally where it ends. By design.

In fact, they deliberately create a blind spot around everything else that happens after that.
From the instinct’s perspective, it’s just a distraction.

So take my friend with a thing for Batman.
I knew that it was all a bad idea.
But I just found it really hard to care.
My instincts had me focused on my attraction to her.

Nothing else.

They made it seem like the whole human story had only existed so that we could be together,
and some great cosmic alignment would take place the moment we kissed.

Of course, that was never the case.
And after the fact, when I looked to the instincts that had now gotten me into all that trouble,
they were nowhere to be found.

It is as if my instincts were secretly whispering in my ear "You’re on your own now buddy."

Just another one of the joys of being human!

So my advice is this – be aware that we have a tendency to get fixated on the moment of achievement – the moment a goal is realised or a task is completed.

Be aware that while that feeling of achievement is awesome, it’s fleeting, and if your happiness is tied up with achievement, rather than the fruits of achievement, you’re on a treadmill to nowhere.

Take stock of your goals.
Do you actually want what comes with them, or do you just want the satisfaction of achievement?

Feel it out.

What does it feel like once you’ve had that new car for a while?

Do you even care?

Feel free to add your comments, upvotes and resteems as I would like more people in the community to think about this
before the week begins.

Credits to Jon of KnowledgeSource
Credits to cesarsway.com