The one with all the clothes

I wanted to be a clothing designer almost all my life. After years of self-doubt and fear of failing and great effort with assignment portfolios, I finally got in to a qualification week for a design school. Even with the incredible pressure and competition there, I was feeling confident with all that I was creating, until it was time for my interview.

I believe fashion is stupid.
I don't think the pricetag or the brand matter.
I don't understand why they don't make clothes that last anymore.
I don't think people should buy as much as they do.
I can't understand why the actual worker is paid so little.
I don't think it's the worst thing, if I don't get in, I could work my way in even without a school.
You can't learn motivation, values and vision on a school bench.

I could see it in my interviewer's eyes. I didn't get in.

I'm not saying I'm perfect either. That is why I need to write about this too. It's easy to just have values and ideals and putting them into practise takes great effort in requiring information and learning and actually just doing.

Or sometimes not doing. I've bought my fair share of shit I never needed.

I'm standing in the middle of piles of clothes the size of mountains. The mountains move daily (exaggeration; I can't deal with this every day) as the way I'm sorting the clothes changes. In the past few years I haven't even been shopping that many new things anymore and have been able to recycle most of the things I already owned, but seeing all that I still do have laid down in front of me gives me great anxiety.

Travelling or moving, dividing your time between two completely different locations, is the worst best way to declutter, to reflect on yourself as a consumer, as an owner. Meaning that I can't put this off any longer. I can't pack a whole closet with me to India in a few weeks. I need to let go of the prettiest pair of heels I have ever had and my favourite knit sweaters, as I know I will never use them again.

Do I really need to use this? Will I ever use this (again)? Can anything else be made of it?

What do you think? What are the steps you are taking towards becoming a more conscious, responsible consumer? I'll share all mine too.