📞 Thank you for calling customer support segunda parte! My name is John but I swear I am not the John who hung up before! ☎️

I was wearing my school uniform during my first job interview but the HR lady couldn't care less. I wasn't the youngest person she had hired at 15 years old, I have heard of people as young as 13 getting one of these jobs. The only requirement is that the person that interviews you believes the caller is not going to hung up on you the minute you open your mouth because they can't understand one word you are saying.

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There are certain moments every year where the call volume is expected to increase for all projects. A call center may have several projects for different companies running at once depending on the size of their operation. During the rest of the year they can be picky about who they hire, but there usually comes a point in which by contract they are required to have a minimum number of employees and that's when it's best to apply since they will accept just about anyone.

Incentives are offered for those employees who manage to refer others into the job during that time, which is usually around this time, right before the holidays. Anyone that looks lost or is holding what could look like a folder at the lobby will be asked whether they came for an application by one of the employees looking to profit from the incentives offered. Interestingly, those applying are more likely to put down your information for the referral if they don't know about the bonus you are getting should they get hired. Even if you offer to give them half the money, they are hesitant to cooperate thinking it's some kind of trick. However, if you actually trick them by telling them that you are a senior in the company and may help them get in, they will have no problem writing down that employee number.

When you interview for a call center there are three main questions the interview revolves around:

• Where did you learn English?

The best answer for this is to say you learned by exposure, watching movies, because the most they could ask in return is about the shows you like. If you say you've travelled they may ask questions about a place you haven't been to. That is also the main reason we usually don't tell callers we are located in a place we are not, so they can't spot the bullshit.

• Do you have any hobbies?

They ask this question to see how well you can express yourself when they are not directing you, they want to see just how good your language skills are. Try memorizing a couple of hobbies that are perceived to be normal, things that most people would say; this way the interviewer doesn't become interested in your hobbies and continues to ask questions that could cost you the job.

• What's your availability?

If you get to this question then you know you have the job almost guaranteed. Breath and don't let your excitement show too much. The correct answer to this question is that you are completely available, you have no other responsibilities if you really want that job. But it's not a good idea for the interviewer to think that you are desperate because you don't have any skills for anyone else to hire you, that is why the portrayal of calmness is so important.

I've learned a lot about the value of silence and the power of sound by working the phones

The first few weeks after starting a new project my family had a hard time sleeping under the same roof with me because I'd start troubleshooting in my dreams. I am one of those who can talk and even walk while sleeping if I am stressed. It's just words, words can't hurt, right? I saw people gaining 100 pounds in a year or going gray in less time, from just words, simple noises.

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Every time I would think about getting another job instead I would remember that I was getting paid more than some doctors would, that without a degree I would likely end up picking up boxes for less money, and that if I wanted more money the alternative was to take interpretation calls for the 911 emergency service which the employees from the call center across the street had told me all about. No way in hell I would ever take 911 calls! If this old lady has me on the edge about her TV not coming on, what would it feel like to have to make sense of a call for help as someone is getting chased down a highway and shots are going off on the background knowing that if you mess up one word you could cost the person their life? How was I supposed to sleep at night with a job like that?

Poooop! pooop! pooop! poop! Now that it's just a memory I find it funny that when describing the sound I can only think of this spelling for it. That's basically what it was, the sound of shit coming your way...and you had 5 seconds to pick it up, if you were lucky to have landed on one of the good projects.

Ten seconds was the max dead air time on the phones we were allowed to have before you made yourself vulnerable to the possibility of a quality controller flagging you for it if they were on a bad day. In call centers you don't only learn about sound but you also learn a lot about time. Time is important, time is money. That message will be drilled into you during training because time will be the main thing your performance will be based on if you are hired in a project in which the productivity and reward are measured by the amount of calls you take.

A lot of my job revolved around entertaining the caller. If I could get them to sacrifice their silence, assuming that we had any silence to begin with and I wasn't misfortunate enough to have received a call from a single mother of 5 holding a crying baby with 2 small dogs barking on the background and the TV static at full volume, if I could get them to give up their silence and find relief in telling me about whatever subject they love, it meant that I could get some silence of my own. I wanted silence from having to hear myself repeat the same thing I told the 10 previous callers, and my body also needed rest. Another reason why we would get flagged down and points were taken off our performance was for interrupting the caller when they were speaking, which is very difficult given that we can't see their faces. There is no point in complaining about getting punished for something you can't avoid in these places, I soon learned this too.

If you interrupt a caller when speaking points would be taken off as punishment for not listening actively, but if you let the caller speak for more time than the company wants to spare for that call then you are accused of avoiding other possible callers or not having ownership of your calls.

Most call centers are very flexible about your habits as an employee, you will find all kinds of people working there. They may be strict about time but anything else kinda flies. As such, most of the workforce is composed of people who were deported from the United States. Deported for all kinds of things really, they sure have many stories, as any prisoner does whether they tell or not. Deported for all kinds of things but mainly drugs, if you ask most won't be shy to share their adventures with you.

As it turns out call centers can't afford to be strict about much because they wouldn't be able to keep any employees. But if there is anything call centers can't afford to be picky about is drug use, because honestly sometimes it feels like you have to be on something to understand some of the people you encounter every day.

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I was never able to do any weed while on the job, which is most popular in the call centers I've worked at after cigarettes, because back then I wasn't used to smoking and my senses would be so distorted that I couldn't understand the sounds coming out of my headset. Add paranoia over getting spotted and losing your job to that and you have the perfect recipe for something that could very well end up going viral if it ever hits the internet. Now that I am more experienced with the substance I understand why it's so popular in the industry, since it slows you down a little bit the caller tends to reveal what they really did to mess up whatever it was they messed up. Since they can't see your face and don't know you are high out of your mind, they can come to think that you don't believe them or are not paying attention, then they will go on to tell you what they really want since they are afraid of losing you and having to wait another 30 minutes which on hold can seem like an hour to speak to someone.

The problem with having alcohol on the job is that it smells, this is not a problem that pills and powder have. Alcohol also takes up more space than the other substances and it could make you slur your words. Other drugs can make you speak fast, which can be good when experiencing high call volume and being pressured to take more calls by your supervisor who could be helping you but is on Youtube instead, but not so good when you are trying to explain to grandpa why the remote has so many buttons.

Speaking of buttons, one of the employees' nicknames was Buttons because he was famous for indiscreetly pushing the right combination of buttons necessary to get away with releasing your call.

I won't lie though I can because I have experience in customer service, I did have a little alcohol here and there during the holidays when the company was more tolerant to it. But I feel no shame for having a little fun on the job, I kinda needed a drink after hearing all about how you dumped your parents at a nursing facility and never visit.

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For part 1 of this series click here

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