Fear

The theme of fears, I am unusually close. Close with early childhood.
Ever since I started to realize myself, I've known fear. This feeling haunted me every night.

I was born in the city of Taganrog,Rostov region.

As soon as the sun went down beyond the horizon I was concerned. My parents never frightened, as they used to do most moms and dads to calm their child. On the contrary, protected and once again did not give reason to worry.

But this feeling lived on its own .I had no control over his appearance. The most vulnerable spot was my back. I felt everything with my back. It seemed that I constantly look back two eyes. I almost physically felt the touch. It was awful.

To eleven years I had to sleep with mom, holding her over the edge of the night shirt that would not go away. Somewhere in five years and to my horror I began to hear clear steps to rooms and to distinguish silhouettes in doorways.

This continued night after night. I want to say that one to I did not want. If the whole family left and left me alone at home, I was sitting outside.

I was seven years old when my mom why it is not permanently gone and locked me in the house with a key. I was brave as I could and assured her that absolutely nothing to fear. These years, considered myself an adult and wanted to show it all. But as soon as mom closed the gate I had very quickly come to regret it.

The first thing returned is a feeling in the back. Remember as clinging to the wall, hastily decided that to do. The solution was found quickly. Grabbing his Shoe, I began to break the window. But my childish strength was not enough to commit such a terrible act.

Then there was nothing left to do, like trying to crawl through a tiny window in grandma's room. Got out on the street I'm only on the third attempt after falling off the table twice. It then turns out that in the fall I broke ribs, but fear drove me on the street and forced to forget about the pain.

But most ghastly survived my mother. I with quiet conscience went out to her friends and did not see when she came back,opened the door and found her child. Mother was looking for me everywhere: under beds, in wardrobes, refrigerator.

I only remember her white face and tears of joy when I got home.

Now I understand what was behind my fears. I had to live in a house with real ghosts. But about this I will talk in the other times. My parents tried to drive me on all sorts of"butterflies". The result of these actions had not. It all came down to the fact that I'm just not much like everyone else.

Now I'm quite an adult lady and have long learned to live with their fears. Only realizing that this is my world, my reality, fear receded. Now I remember with a smile all the feelings that were experienced in childhood.

From Taganrog I left a long time ago and took root in the Kuban. Now I have my own house and the same dark nights. I had to accept reality for what it is. There is nothing mystical and mysterious about what is happening around us. This is our big world , and it is much more multifaceted than we see.

Remember the tale of the Little Raccoon? Smile at your fear and he will smile at you! So smile, friends! And be happy!