My wife does not like my son from his first marriage

With his wife divorced five years ago, she now lives with a new husband abroad. My son was 12 years old and after our divorce he was with my parents, my wife then said that it was temporary, that she would settle in a new place and immediately take him. Soon, the ex-wife gave birth to a daughter, and again move our son postponed until such time as it is older child, justifying this by saying that it will not have enough time for it. Four years have passed since her departure, and during this time the wife saw her son only once, I realized that she had already lost her habit of it, did not really want to take the child to a new family. During this time I met a girl, told her that I have a son, she took it well, even tried to make friends with him. I constantly took him to my house for all the holidays, I went to my parents and to my son, so he did not feel abandoned.

When we were not yet married, three of them spent a lot of time, and I thought that now that we have a family, I can take her son to her, especially because recently born child is common, too, son. My wife took this without enthusiasm, but I thought that eventually she would get used to everything and everything would fall into place. But soon I realized that she does not like my son, that he constantly irritates her, often his wife, making him a remark, goes on to scream. I understand that all the son spared not raised properly, the grandmother did everything for it myself and now he even your clothes may not add up, all scattered in his room. I try to explain to him how to behave, that he is already an adult boy and must serve himself.

He is very fond of his brother and constantly messing with him, but after his wife once in anger said that it is the same as his ne'er-do "mother," the son kept to himself, did not want to even with me. And this weekend, the son packed his things and said that I took him back to his grandmother, said that he and friends were there, and the school he used to go there, too. When I began to persuade him, my son said that he would leave for himself. I do not know now what to do, how to explain to my parents that I could not become a real father for my son, and, most likely, after that, they will not want to communicate with my wife either. And I already thought that at last I also have a real family.