PLIGHT OF A BARREN
Diana's life has always been something of envy among her friends and loved ones. She was a person who life has been kind to. During her childhood, she enjoyed all that a kid could ever dream of. In the educational aspect, she was exceptional, always on top of her class. When it was time for her to pick a man, she got the best man around and her wedding was extravagant. The early days of her marriage was a rosy one, she and her husband were really loving and compatible couples.
But things turned the other way round. Diana was unable to bear children after four years of marriage. She had series of miscarriage but the doctor assured her of being healthy enough to bear her own children. The marriage has really suffered some strain. The environment Diana found herself was one that lay insurmountable priority on childbearing. The inability to bear children was seen as a deficiency of the woman. The belief in the society was that a fertile woman should be able to put to bed no matter the circumstance.
Diana spent a lot of lonely time indoors shedding tears, the stigma was too much for her to bear. Her in-laws never allow her some breathing space, she was hated for being fruitless. Even her loving husband has been manipulated by the pressures, he barely comes home or share time with her. Rumour was even been spread around town that he was seeing other ladies. Diana wept bitterly hoping she can carry her own child. She was left alone in the big house with nobody to talk to but herself, her eyeballs are sour and swollen due to the daily dose of tears. All her friends have deserted her.
Diana during a session of her agony wished she still had her mother around. Her mom lost her life to a deadly cancer. Her father has picked up a new wife and moved on with his life. Diana looks pale and unkempt due to the ill treatments she encounters due to her inability to bear children. Another issue stirring up her mind is the upcoming visit of her mother-in-law, the woman now calls her, 'Diana my barren wife'. She detests the name so much that she does wish the ground could open and get consumed by it. She never gets anything right in the sight of her mother-in-law, the woman was a thorn in her flesh.
Her visit on the slated day was a different one; she came with a damsel and introduced her as the new wife of her son, Diana was asked to vacate the house and move to the boys quarter; all this has been pre-planned between the mother and son. Diana could not object, she knew what the custom entails; the woman who could not bear a child has zero say in her matrimonial home. She humbly packed her belongings to the room ascribed to her. That night was the most sorrowful one of her life, she prayed for death, but death neglected her. She could not sleep, series of thoughts crossed her mind, she contemplated suicide but too scared to attempt it.
After some month the new wife put to bed. The mother-in-law came visiting again and her visit this time marked another episode of tears for Diana, she was made to run every errand in the house and do all sorts of menial job. The husband added salt to her injury, Diana has become an object of ridicule in his sight, he never acted like she existed in the house. During the period of the new wife pregnancy, he made evil jokes out of Diana.
The husband and mother-in-law called for a sitting, the family lawyer was invited, Diana and the new wife were in attendance. The husband instructed sixty percent of his wealth to be willed to the new wife and her child while the remaining forty will be shared among his family members. He said Diana only possession will be the room she sleeps in till death will take her away.
At that moment life became worthless for Diana, she could not take it anymore. She withdrew slowly from her seat, walked out of the house to a nearby store where she purchased poison; she was prepared to sum it up. When she returned to the house, she quietly moved to her room, the tear has seized coming out of her eye. She recollected how she embarked on her life journey to date, how the event turns from songs of joy to that of sorrow for her, she was all alone now with no companion. She saw the face of her mum. She swallowed the poisonous substance and died a slow death.
DIDACTIC
The inspiration to do this write up was ignited by the stigma African women pass through in the hand of the society. Every tribe in Africa has a ridiculous name they call a barren woman. African culture and tradition place great emphasis on children to the point that it is seen as the greatest achievement any man can acquire. The belief is that it is the children who will manage the estate and keep the name of the family. Some will even prefer raising the children in abject poverty than not having them at all.
Among some Africans, the belief is that the child will bring along his/her food from the heavens, so poverty should not be seen as an excuse for not raising children.
But why do women suffer the most? are they the maker of the children?. Most times I am reduced to tears when I see how the society relates with the barren. Even their fellow women become their focal enemies, that why I say, 'men are the enemies of themselves'.
Women who claimed or perceive to be soft, tender and emotional becomes the core enemy of a barren, they avoid them like a contagious virus. Being a barren is synonymous with being a witch because the stigma and rejection are just uncalled for.
Let rise against these archaic ways of reasoning.
Let speak out against the ill-treatment barren women encounter on the African soil, a lot of them are dying in silence.
Inability to raise children is not from the side of the women alone but both couples involved in the relationship.
Let us start reasoning as a rational being, let place leaving a great legacy behind as a priority and not children that are uncared-for. If we continue with this dark ideology the suffering on the African soil will become a signal.
Lastly, no matter the challenges we encounter in our day to day social intercourse, suicide is never a solution. Never allow the limitation the society couch for you limit your soul. The world at large is insatiable, you can't please humans.
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