#17 for 2017, Shello's Last Diary of the Year

What did I get myself into? Be warned, the following entry may actually be my diary.

I was too exhausted from work yesterday, and now I'm starting to wonder if it was a trap. Me getting this job. I wonder this because there is a person that is making me question a lot of things lately. His name is Peyton, and he changed everything.

The Day I Broke Up With My Ex

I posted a status to social media that said "Single and ready for... Pringles." A slew of friends joined in on the banter by discussing their favorite brand and flavor of potato chips. I got a message from a friend I haven't seen in a while. Peyton took no hesitation in seeing that since I am newly single, I would have the free time needed to... go get a day job.

Doing panel wiring for a Stepmania cabinet (open source DDR)

We met when he moved back to Hawai'i about a year ago, and although he was already into rhythm games, he decided to pick up Dance Dance Revolution. I used to work in arcades, building custom game cabinets, and I recall him being around a lot just to play. I wasn't prepared last week, when we hung out on our day off to go to Dave and Buster's to play. He managed to improve so much, that he could play harder songs than I could. It was breath-taking to be honest. We do enjoy a lot of the same things, and he is getting more competitive in Smash as well, where he is actually entering tournaments for it now.

He ended up asking me out after that date (yes dinner and gaming is a date lol), and I declined for many reasons, but this was after I had already gotten hired and started working. Yesterday we finally had our first shift together, and it was not what I had expected. He is usually the one to joke around like a jerk, but he's a hard worker, professional, not to mention a good Japanese speaker.

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Last Night's Shift

When he was purchasing food from my register for his first break yesterday, he said that he wanted to talk to me about something "not work appropriate" and asked if I could wait in the dining area after my shift to catch him on his second break. Of course my mind is in the gutter at this point. He has said some rather lewd things to me leading up to this, so I was kind of weirded out.

I finished work and bought some ramen for dinner from one of the restaurants inside our store, and waited. He came walking up and was like; "Sheryl, you need to open up an arcade- We need to do this."

My face when he said that was completely lost for words, that was probably the last thing I was expecting him to say. I laughed so hard on the inside, because this idea was suggested to me before by other friends. He caught me off-guard. We discussed the difficulty of trying to attempt something like this in the current scene and how it would not be viable, at least not for quite a while. I was finishing my food, when he asked if I could wait for him to close.

Another 2 hours.

My dinner yesterday

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Walk Together?

I was really not liking the concept of doing nothing for two hours, but after a back and forth I decided to wait. The mall ended up closing a little after 10pm, so I had to wait for him inside the store. I walked in, and since I had already taken off my uniform I was freezing. Peyton has to wear jackets when he stocks beverages, he took off his jacket and offered it to me. He said that he would be getting out shortly, and asked me to help put things back on shelves with him so he could leave faster. Since I'm already there, I figured why not.

We walked up to the front and both managers were in a conversation. They don't have well spoken English, so when they were literally wondering why I was still there, he spoke up- And It was embarrassing that I could understand him say to them that we were walking home together. They know that we are friends that live a few blocks from each other so they were more like "wow okay" if anything.

After closing up, we walked home and he talked more about the insane idea of us attempting to open an arcade and what area would not be too ridiculous to lease, but would garner us more foot traffic. More like the beginning of a dream. I was just telling my friends a few nights ago, that this was actually my secret life goal if I could ever do it one day. I was kind of mad knowing that someone actually wanted this for me too.

I was complaining about being tired, and he pat me on the head and told me to stop staying up drinking then.

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Making Excuses

I've spent the last day being upset at myself. It not like someone can just get pro at games to win my heart y'know, I'm not that shallow! He never tried to reach out to me before all of this, but he was always cool in passing. Even now, I am making excuses not to like him. Like, since I've left the actual rhythm gaming community because of drama and other things, people would definitely talk if we ever became a thing. I don't want to be judged as someone who is superficial. That's been an ongoing joke for a long time, that to win me, you must be skilled. Jeezuz, I used to give him so much shit for being bad at the game, this simply can't happen.

I just got out of a relationship too, my mind is warping on the inevitable fury I would catch to even consider him. This is the part where I'm not supposed to care what others think, and more and more each day I'm realizing that he is actually a pretty amazing person. I'm looking for the ground, because I think I'm being swept off of my feet.

We both work a double tomorrow for New Year's Eve, and it's terrifying to know that the future can change in an instant.

See you guys in 2018!

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