SEED OF ASSUMPTION(a little excuse for him would have assuaged my emotions)
The incessant rings from my phone brought me back to consciousness. I looked at my ruffled bed with disdain and my wet pillow was a clear indication that I cried my eyes to sleep and that I haven't slept for long before the call came in. My wall clock ticks exactly 12:00pm. I sat on the bed grudgingly not particularly happy about my disrupted sleep that have eluded me ever since the last time I heard from Alex.
I picked up my ringing phone from the nightstand and the caller happened to be the bedrock of my woes. "ALEX? What the heck would he call me now? I muttered underneath my breath. For a moment i battled with the thoughts of picking the call or ignoring the call. In the end I switched off the phone instead and replace it on the night stand.
In as much as I tried to force myself back to sleep, I couldn't as the event of the past seven days keep bogging my head.
I have been in courtship with Alex for about Eight months and some days now, ours was a long distant nearly Platonic relationship until the day he invited Me to his apartment for our traditional marriage plans which was to hold in ten days time.
For the first time since the onset of our relationship, we had a sudden magnetic attraction. We just couldn't take our eyes and hands off each other and when he carried me to his bedroom and gently placed me on the bed and his fingers gently exploring the sensitive part of my body with my organs responding to his exploring fingers, I knew I was about to experience a journey to heaven.
Our kissing had led us to undressing each other. "keep the bed undefiled till your wedding night" my pastor's voice echoed in my head. In response to the echoes, I slightly pushed him away, still he clinged to me and quietly whispered to my ears, "baby, let me take you to ecstasy and far beyond". As his tongue glide down the back of my ear, my muff dripped in response, my feeble resistance fizzled out and I gave in.
Few minutes after our copulation, he had an sms on his phone and he stood up abruptly after reading the text. "get dressed, let me drop you off in your apartment. There is something i need to address urgently" he said a little bit disturbed. Without demanding for any explanation, I hopped into my clothes.
During the drive to my apartment, I made effort to find out the sudden change of mood and what exactly he need to address urgently that he had to discard me off like that. But he wouldn't say anything.
When we got to my apartment, he gave me a peck on my forehead and simply said " i will be away for a day or two and I will give you a call and explain things to you when it's necessary" Is been seven days now and I haven't heard from him since that time.
As I tried to assauage my wounded emotions, I remembered the tone of my mom's voice that reeked of disappointment and discontentment when I broke the news to her early hours of today that my supposed groom has disappeared without a trace. "Have you called him? Have you gone to his house to look for him? What about his friends"? She had asked with panick in her voice. Mom, I wouldn't come to the conclusion that he had left me, if I haven't done all of that. I replied her amidst tears.
Getting a call from him now, when is just three days to our traditional marriage left me in a vague situation. "Why don't you just switch on your phone, he might likely call back and probably explain why he has'nt been picking his calls and why his apartment has been under lock for the past seven days" my inner voice screamed at me. Without giving it a second thought, I heeded the advice of my inner voice. I switched on my phone and I got a notification of an unread message. It's a text from Alex. I quickly opened it and it read. "What have I done wrong to warrant all the abuses you mailed to me"?.
Lord! Of all the text messages I sent to him, begging him to forgive me if I have ever wrong him unknowingly, he could only respond to the one in which I lost my wit and abused him for taking advantage of me and making me an object of mockery" I thought aloud.
This is the height of it, I couldn't bottle up my emotions anymore "Alex, is just a beast" I cried out as I continuously hit my right fist on the bed. While I was still crying I heard a sharp knock on the door. I was so immersed in my emotions that I ignored it. Without a second knock, the visitor pushed the door opened and I looked up to see who it was. It was Alex in all his elegancy and despite his elegant look, his face registered stress.
He walked toward the bed without offering a word of greeting to me."Can you explain that mail you sent to me earlier today?" he asked as he sat on the bed. "No, you are the one who have a lot of explanation to do" I blurtted out angrily. "Fine! He said as he heaved a sign of relief. "I remember I told you there is something I need to address urgently and I might be out of town for sometime. well, that night I was with you, I got a message from my sister that my mom was heading to my house with that girl she forcefully want me to marry. I didn't want to set my eye on her, let alone allow her pass the night in my house and i sincerely didn't want to upset you with the news" he saidly cooly, lifting his eyes to meet mine. "Why would your mother do that to me? i thought she had accepted me as her daughter in law to be when she came for my introduction ceremony" I queried. "Mimi, I wouldn't know why she acted that way" he replied ignorantly. that moment, I got the text I felt I have had enough of my mom's interference in my life and I also realised that if i dont handle the issue once and for all, our traditional marriage ceremony would be in chaos. So, after I dropped you off, I quickly went back to the house to get few things I would need to travel back to the village. I needed to have a word with the girl's family as well as the elders in my family to probably caution my mom and remind her that I have already made my choice of wife regardless of her ethnicity. unfortunately, in the heat of the rush, I left my phone in the house. I actually realized it, few kilometers to my village. since I have the intention of travelling back home the following day, I decided not to bother about going back home to get it but unfortunately, I stayed longer in the village than I expected. I got back early hours of this morning. I saw your numerous messages and calls, I called back but you wouldn't pick up. I didn't know you have totally lost your cool until I opened my mail and saw those abuses you heaped on me". he said looking at me scornfully. There was a long uncomfortable pause during which I tried to digest all he had told me.
I couldn't bear to look at his face not after all the defamatory names I called him through the mail. "Alex!, I called, still unable to look at his face. "You must understand that I tried in my own way to keep it cool. I guess you don't know how it feels when all forms of communication is totally and suddenly severed off from someone you are so much in love with without any explanation". I said trying to justify the reason for my actions. Mimi! he called trying to get me to look at his face. With my eyes fixated on him now, he ccontinued "I can't pretend not to have a hint of how hurt you were when you didn't hear from me but it wasn't enough for you to call me derogatory names like scoundrel, SOB, philanderer, assho...". Stop! I cried out, "I am deeply sorry for all the names I called you, I am sorry for not being patient and trusting. Please pardon me" I pleaded holding his hands in mine. " Is alright, I am equally sorry for not trying harder to reach you while I was in the village" he apologised, fondling my hands affectionately. There was a long pause before he finally spoke "everything is over now, I have settled the issue with my mom" he said in a tone of finality. "Oh! my mom" I suddenly blurted out, placing my left hand on my head dejectedly. "What happened to your mum" he asked with concern in his eyes. I have already told her the marriage has been cancelled and I believe she had informed her invitee that the marriage has been cancelled. wat do I tell her now? I asked in a confusing manner. He looked at me for sometime, stood up from the bed and then said "That's your problem, fix it" and he walked toward the door. Shocked by his response, I couldn't help but stare at his receding back.
He suddenly stood when he got to the door, placing his hand on the door knob, he slowly turned to face me and he said in his most articulate voice "You wouldn't want your mom to see you in this mess, so, wash up, do justice to your swollen eyes and meet me outside. We will go see her together". With that, he opened the door and stepped outside.
"He still cares" I muttered, despising myself for not trusting him or even giving him a benefit of doubt. For a moment, I felt stupid and embarrassed for assuming the worse about him, for abusing him and majorly for not giving him atleast benefit of doubt.
When we got to my mom's house and I saw her sitting at the balcony with one of my paternal uncle, I assumed they were discussing my failed marriage plan and then my level of embarrassment climaxed, I felt even more stupid and to worsen the situation I became angry, madly angry with myself. I felt so stupid and ashamed of myself that for a moment I couldn't look at my uncle in the face.
In the end, I realised how fast i jump into conclusion when i discovered that my honourable Alex had already explained things to my mom on the phone while he was waiting for me outside the house and my uncle wasn't actually here to discuss my failed marriage with my mom but to fulfill his promise of one cow for my traditional marriage..
After the whole episode, I just couldn't stop thinking how assumptions could kill faster than cancer.
When someone doesn't pick our calls, we just assume it's deliberate, what if the person is probably in a meeting or busy at the moment.
Sometimes, when people turn us down or dissapoint us or doesn't give us the money they promised us, we are fast to assume the person is just being selfish and wicked meanwhile that person might be experiencing financial strain or setback.
I am just saying that making an excuse for someone or giving someone a benefit of doubt can actually help strengthen our relationship with people and probably save us from emotional trauma.
Wonderful and fascinating writting!