Review for a restaurant you will LITERALLY never eat at
You know that feeling, when you just get that overwhelming urge? That overcomes you and encompasses every thought, and every sense becomes obsessed? Well my wife and I had that urge tonight...
No not that urge
sicko...
GLORIOUS AMERICAN CHINESE FOOD
Keep in mind I wont eat just any cheap Chinese food though...
It must keep my criteria
- An average around 3.5/5 review
(This tells me that its good, but doesn't have fake reviews) - The outside MUST look mildly sketchy
(This tells me they are too focused on making bomb food to care about whats happening outside)
note the outdated satellites on top of the roof! What could those even be for?? perfect - When you walk in their oldest son must be the guy behind the counter, and the mom/dad makes the food
(I love family business) - The restaurant should NEVER be full.
(I wanna see like 2-3 tables full at MAX) - Preferably they have a detached lounge where they make most of their money
(This supports their food portion staying open with so few customers)
Bonus points if none of the employees care to get up from their phones when i walk in
I mean their food has to be BOMB if they don't care about customer service
^^^ I AM DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT THAT ^^^
PART 2: THE FOOD
ON TODAYS MENU
Sweet and sour chicken
Mongolian Beef 3/5 stars
BBQ pork fried rice
How was it?
- Sweet and Sour Chicken: 10/10 would eat everday till I puke
- Mongolian Beef: 4/10 Kinda like limp wet rubber. Only eat if someone else is paying.
- BBQ Pork Fried Rice: 17/10 So good you forget how fractions work.
Fortune Cookies
- Wife said that the cookie was the best ever I think she is still high off of that rice
Vote on which fortune was mine and my wifes by clicking that upvote button
1 vote = yep that's a fortune cookie fortune
Will send leftover Chinese food to the winner (me)
Vote on which fortune was mine and my wifes by clicking that upvote button
1 vote = yep that's a fortune cookie fortune
Will send leftover Chinese food to the winner (me)
Damn @saywha that's a long list of demands from a takeaway. How many others do you have that meet the criteria?
At least 1 near most of the places I have lived.
You're a funny guy #affirmation
100% VOTE LOL
I can't vote in percentages. But I can vote by the 5c worth!
add 2 cents coz my power is down!
Wow, as somebody who lives in China I can tell you that this is seriously legit. It's exactly like all Chinese food, but without the food poisoning (though get back to me in a few hours on that)
I will take your word for it, because of my allergy I only get that type of food when I make it myself. When I was a teenager I was a hostess in a Chinese restaurant and the owner use to adjust the recipes so I could try Chinese food. Sadly that restaurant went out of business so now if I want Chinese food I have to bastardize my own versions
Doesn't look that appealing. But hey whatever taste good.
Doesn't look good, but from what I can see, they should put enough effort to make it taste good. It looks typical local food in HK. The town I born serve similar food as well.
1 word changes everything, my friend. I read title like "Review a restaurant that you never eat at." And it gave me a good idea hahah.
It seems fun making reviews like this, mmm I want some rice!
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Looks......shivers
But if you say its good, I will belive you. as for the cookie...id say.....no 1 is from your wife. :3