D.N.A. (Drugs & Alcohol) 2 of 3

https://steemit.com/story/@samwicallis/d-n-a-drugs-and-alcohol-1-of-3 -- Before

The party was at her friend's house, and on the drive I let her
jockey the radio. In our argument, I had said some hurtful things
about the company she kept. I was always saving hurtful things, and
she was always telling me that it might do us both good to take time
apart. I liked to tell her that she was talking crazy, and if she really
loved me, it wouldn't matter if we went the whole night without
communicating. But she kept saving something between us had gone
missing, and it sounded like regaining this something required rules
and sacrifice. Still, Maria was beautiful, and I knew I had it incredibly
good. She could’ve been with whomever she wanted, and I suppose
she picked me because I had a future and a good family. My parents
had immediately welcomed her with open anns. She told me we
reminded her of the way a real family should be. In her house, things
weren't so good. Her mother wouldn't touch her. Her father lived in
an Ashram abroad.

The plastered voices came roaring at us two turns in the road
before we pulled up to the Hollywood Hills home. I parked behind a
line of cars on an undivided windy street and squeezed Maria's hand.
I truly did care for her, and knew I would never do something to fuck
us up. Not for another six months anyway. Not until April, when
Maria would go to visit friends in New York, and I would fuck
Samantha Adler on a tile-bathroom floor, drunk, and without a
condom.
When we entered the parly, I tried to make nice with Maria’s friends,
but found this taxing. They were drunk and loud. They wore long
skirts, and bangles, and danced around barefoot. They blasted Miike
Snow and chain-smoked Turkish Silvers. They’d been bouncing
between social happenings since they were fourteen, and half of them
were recovering coke addicts. Worst of all, I knew that when she was
with them, Maria became one of their kind. There was a side of Maria
I didn't know, and this threatened me. Her friends shared a history
with Maria that I couldn’t touch.

I walked to the kitchen to pour myself a drink. Most nights I
visited a liquor store that didn’t card and bought a pint of vodka to
set me right. With my sense of smell shot and all, things don’t taste
so bad, and I never need a chase. But after the fight with Maria, there
hadn’t been time to make a pit stop.
I half-filled a plastic cup with Smirnoff, and watched the host,
Chloe, dance up against a male friend. Chloe was dick-hungry,
according to some guys I knew. Maria corroborated this rumor by
fearing that Chloe’d one day try to fuck me. I swore to Maria I
wouldn't. I even expressed my disgust at the thought. Of course, from
that point on, I had begun to observe Chloe with a small spark of
interest. Sometimes, I thought, we shared intoxicated secrets with
our glances.
I started to force the alcohol down, thinking that if I got a little
cross-faded later, I’d zone in and still be okay to drive.
Powerful hands clasped down on my shoulders from behind. I
sloshed my drink on my shirt and spun around. Rollie stood there
sniggering, a high-pitched hee-hee-hee, and slithered a hand from his
waist into the vacuum of space between us.
‘Oh, whassup?’ he said.
I met his hanging hand with my own. ‘What re you doing here?'
My boy Hector's fucking some chick and she told us to come.'
I followed his eyes across the room. A couple of guys with
beanies and gauge-earrings leaned over and whispered into female
ears. I didn't knowr any of them.
Wanna burn one?' I said.
‘Sure. I’ll match.'
We stood out back on a patch of earth that sloped down a hill into the
canyon. The smog had dulled the stars, so they looked kind of burned
out and sleepy. I felt a sudden sense of shame because my
observations seemed maudlin. I racked my brain for something
entertaining to say. Rollie must have felt the strain too, because he
nudged me, and started performing smoking tricks to fill the dried-
up space.
His new girl, the one with the plastic glasses and hair the color of
oil, approached us. She reached up and scratched Rollie’s head.
‘Can I have a hit?'
‘You got weed to throw down on the next spliff?' Rollie said.
She batted her eyes at Rollie, then turned to smile at me. 'Not
with me.'
'Then fuck off.'
I felt the violence in Rollie's voice chase her into the house. He
turned away and spat on the ground, sweeping October coldness into
our human cluster. Was she serious?’
When I got back inside with Rollie, I found Maria looking for me.
‘You promised me you’d be social,' she said.
‘Relax,’ I said. ‘I can still be social.’
‘You’re blitzed. I hate it wThen you smoke with him.’
‘I’m not blitzed. I'm just a little faded.’