The Worst Mother's Day Gift Ever

I have had a lot of embarrassing, awkward and dumb stuff happen to me over the years. Mostly all my fault. I'm gonna share another one of these stories with you. Enjoy. @runrudy

This is a true story, reenacted with animated GIFs of how I royally screwed up Mother's Day this year. Let's begin to tell you that my wife sometimes works the graveyard shift at the hospital. Just so happens that the Saturday before Mother's Day she was scheduled for graveyard. After she works the graveyard shift, she comes home early in the morning and sleeps like a log until about 1pm.

My daughters and I had a plan to fix up the house in the morning to surprise her when she woke up for Mother's Day. You know, the whole breakfast/lunch in bed, flowers, gifts, etc...

I had also secretly printed a bunch of photos to replace in all the old picture frames we had hanging on our walls. These new pictures were from our vacations and updating old baby pictures of the girls with current ones. This picture in particular was the image that started it all.

I have a small bench in my garage workshop where I was framing all the pictures.

This picture was to go into a 24 x 20 inch wood frame with a glass panel, same size like the one below.

I was holding the large frame up and had just replaced the old image when the glass panel from the frame fell out.

It hit the ground and shattered all over the floor.

For about roughly three seconds I thought, "F*, there goes that present."

Then I looked down, saw broken glass everywhere, then I saw blood, then more blood. Then I looked at my foot and it looked like a cleaver hit it. I could see white, bone, muscle, tendons, blood etc...

I guess out of idiot instinct, instead of moving out of the way when something sharp is falling, I must of tried to catch it with my barefoot from breaking?

I was wearing shorts, no socks and no shoes. Just like the picture above. So, it was pretty much like this:

The adrenaline kicked in and I just yelled, "Noooo!".

I one hopped it into the house, leaving a trail of blood, yelling for my wife.

I ran right past my eldest daughter and she screamed and freaked out.

Did I mention that my wife sleeps like a log after the graveyard shift?

She was only asleep for maybe an hour when I came busting through the bedroom door. I'm screaming like a little girl, telling her to wake up and that I had f*d up. (not the first time). My poor wife, she is rudely awaken from her deep slumber.

I go to the bathroom, sit down on the edge of the tub, and start yelling for a towel. My youngest daughter comes in and is weirdly not bothered by all the blood and commotion. I yell at her, "Go get me a towel!"

My wife gets out of bed, sees the blood, my foot, and then proceeds to sit down on the toilet to pee right in front of me.

Still waiting for a towel, I'm like WTF are you doing! I'm dying here.

She tells me calmly, "If we're going to the hospital, I need to pee first."

As I am still bleeding all over the bathroom floor waiting for a towel. My foot is starting to feel numb and I try to move my toes. Nope, zero digit movements. Then my mind and thoughts start panicking. I am an avid runner and have challenged myself in marathons before. I start shaking my head and mumbling to myself, "I'm fcked, I'm fcked, I'm fcked. That's it no more marathons for me. I'm gonna be a fckin gimp."

Finally, one of my daughters throws me a towel.

It just happens to be white and my wife yells from the toilet, "Not that one!"

Too late, I already start wrapping it around my foot. Trying to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

While my dogs below are licking up my blood from the floor like a spilt cherry Slurpee.

We jump in the car and rush to the emergency room. After we check in, of course there were less doctors working the sh*t shift on Mother's Day morning.

I had to wait for a Physician's assistant to stitch me up. To be honest, he was good and I would have taken anyone at that point to just get my wife home.

He said it was really deep but a perfectly clean cut. I got a tetanus shot, ten stitches and he didn't think any tendons were severed. Gave me some Vicodin, told me to visit my primary doctor on Monday, anticipate physical therapy and sent us home.

We ended up spending five hours in the emergency room on Mother's Day morning and my wife was running on empty.

The car ride home was really quiet and awkward. All I remember her saying was, "I can't believe you used the white towel."

A few weeks later, she finally got that Mother's Day gift.

Thanks for reading,

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Thank you in advance,

Rudy

@runrudy

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