Dork Stories from my Past - My First Job Ever at Sea World

I have had a lot of embarrassing, awkward and dumb shi*t things happen to me over the years. Mostly all my fault. I'm just gonna share this one funny story with you, enjoy. @runrudy

My First Job

My first introduction to the workforce was at Sea World, San Diego. When I got the job, I was told by the hiring manager that my job description was to handle, persuade, and market finished products to potential customers. Then on the first day of work, they strapped thirty pounds of food around my body, screamed at me to run up and down flights of stairs and sell my products as fast as I could without collapsing. I was what you would call a food service vendor.

Sea World vendors would go to performances and try to sell the audience food and refreshments before the show would start. What we had to do ranged from carrying thirty pound trays of soda to strapping hot metal boxes filled with churros over our shoulder while it burned our legs. It was minimum wage, we didn't earn commission and we were prohibited to accept tips but we still worked hard. We worked hard to sell all of our products only for the sheer comfort of minimizing the weight of our load.

We had to wear long blue pants, itchy collared shirts and sometimes even bowties. Everyone kinda looked like Steve Martin, as the Jerk. We constantly answered the same questions over and over such as, "How deep is the pool?" or "Can Shamu get me wet from where I am sitting?" yada yada yada. That was all fine and part of the job. Like any job, there were times it did get frustrating. For example, you would be at the bottom of the stadium selling sodas and popcorn. Then you see a customer waving at you that is three flights of stairs up. Knowing that you are supposed to serve every person that asks for your assistance, but unwilling to climb all the way up the stadium to sell him one box of popcorn. You just pretend not to see this person.

Then feeling the presence of your twenty-something supervisor watching, you trudging go all the way up the stairs to serve him. You finally get there and he says giggling, "I'm sorry I thought you were selling ice cream. Could you go fetch the ice cream man for me?". You reply in your bogus enthusiastic voice, "Sure sir, I'll go get him and send him right over." Then you make sure your buddy selling the ice cream never gets around to that part of the stadium. Still, like many teenagers in San Diego, this was my first job ever. I knew this was only a summer job for me but I still worked really hard. It was the first time I ever got a paycheck. I felt obligated to do my best.

The Fourth of July is always one of the busiest days at Sea World. That day seemed like every tourist and family decided to go to Sea World. I remember being really motivated and feeling very energized at the start of my shift. Show after show, I began selling my products by the multiple. I was running back and forth to the main station to refill my wares. I was hustling $12 sport bottles left and right with a thick wad of twenty dollar bills in my hand. I continued this pace for the next couple of shows. Running up and down the aisles, as if I was possessed. I don’t remember exactly why, I was working so hard that day. I could have been competing with the other vendors for pride or just trying to break my personal best.

All I remember, towards the end of the night I was exceptionally sore and completely out of gas. The only thing on my mind was going home and falling in bed. On my way to my last show for the night I could hardly walk. I was going to the Seal and Otter Show and I had to sell churros. The metal hot box that held the churros was giving me third degree burns on the side of my leg. I entered the stadium from the back stairs. As I walked through a hallway, I could hear the rumbling and voices of the excited crowd. The stadium was totally packed. There wasn't one vacant seat.

The audience cheered as the clown made his entrance to the stadium. It was a tradition for the clown to do his comic routine before every Sea and Otter Show as guests found their seats. His routine consisted of making fun of the audience and choosing guests to participate in amusing roles. The clown act is always very humorous because he would do anything and make fun of anyone as long as it made the audience laugh.

The vendors were not to go to the bottom of the stadium while he did his act. Keeping this in mind I made sure I stayed away from that area. As I was selling my churros and my legs were trembling. I felt like I was about to collapse at any second. I saw a customer sitting near the bottom of the stadium waving for me to come down to him. As I walked down the stairs I looked for the clown. He was doing his act about twenty yards away from my customer with the two huge spotlights focused on him.

There were lights of diverse colors shining towards the stage. There were red, yellow, green, blue, and purple colored lights. As I walked down the steps, I stared into the reflection of the bright lights. They were almost hypnotic. As I stared longer I felt very relaxed and slumberous. I stared longer and felt very dizzy, and then I felt as if I had fallen asleep, but I had not fallen asleep, I had begun to fall down the stairs. I tripped and slid down on my back about ten concrete steps. I hit the bottom of the steps with my box of churros by my side and the whole crowd shrieked with awe.

The two spotlights switched straight from the clown on to my body that lay on the ground motionless. All of the hard work that day had taken its toll and had sucked all of the strength from my body. I couldn't get up so I just decided to lay there in defeat. The clown, perceiving what had happened, rushed over to me. I looked up at him and saw him extend his arm towards me as if he was going to help me up. As I extended my arm to receive his help the crowd cheered the clown for his quick sympathetic concern and clapped to the reassurance that I was okay.

Then to the crowd's and my surprise, the clown had not extended his arm to pick me up off of the wet ground but to open up my churro box and grab a quick snack. As the crowd saw this they exploded with tremendous laughter. The clown smiling and waving the churro in my face and dancing over my body just devastated me. He continued to dance, give one high five, and enjoy his churro. It was surreal and felt like a dream. The clown came back to me and extended his arm once again but this time he picked me up from off the ground. I looked at him and he gave me a grin and a look with raised eyebrows like, “Good job, kid”. I smirked at him, knowing he got a good laugh at my expense. I finished off that summer working at Sea World. I didn’t return the next year, but I will never forget the story of my first job ever. I fucking hate clowns to this day.

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