Confession

I walk into the main sanctuary of the church after getting my fill at the fellowship luncheon. I sit in the back pew. Hanulfo and Janine sit in the pew in front of me.

“Brother, praise the Lord,” Hanulfo starts solemnly.

“Both of us have just been anointed by the elders of the church.”

“Anointed?” I ask. “I thought anointing was only for the sick.”

“Yes Brother we are sick. Extremely spiritually sick.”

“Oh yes...! My problem is a disease,” Janine starts in. “Just plainly..., a disease! And it’s got to stop... It has just definitely got to stop...! Stop doing it!”

“I don’t see any problems with either of your spiritual lives,” I reply.

“Oh Brother..., my spiritual life is something of a lack of faith in God,” Hanulfo explains.

“Well ah..., your spiritual life is somewhat of an inspiration to me Hanulfo,” and I notice that there is olive oil in his hair.

“Oh Brother..., ‘There is no one who is good except my Father in heaven,’ ” he quotes Jesus. “Please do not flatter me and cause me to become puffed up.” Then Hanulfo moves on to the meat of his problem. “Brother..., the Devil is following me around...! ‘Satan is a roaring lion seeking to devour whom he will...’ And I see the Devil everywhere...! On billboards..., license plates..., in phone numbers..., and even return addresses on envelopes that come to me by mail... 666 is everywhere Brother.”

“Yes..., but you’ve been anointed,” Janine solemnly interrupts. “Now step forth in the freedom Jesus has given you as I too will do... I... I just...can’t believe that I just sat there in that room... The only girl with all of those men... And told them about the habit that is in my life that I know Jesus has now removed... It was so..., humiliating as I talked about how this habit started with me when I was just a young girl... And by the time I was in high school it was an addiction... I didn’t care then... I just did it and enjoyed it... But now..., I’m a follower of Christ...! I must stop sinning against my body...! And against Jesus! And I praise..., HIM! for freeing me of this abomination... HALLELUIAH!”

Mike Conrad, the head elder of the Anaheim Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church walks up and sits with us.

“You know Hanulfo, the mere number 666 is not evil,” Elder Conrad counsels Hanulfo. “Revelation says that it’s a man’s number and his number is 666... It’s referring to the Anti-Christ. So when you pick up the hymnal here,” Mike opens the songbook to page 666. “And turn to hymn number 666, there is no evil in that... The number 666 follows 665... It’s the same with license plates. One has 665, the next has 666.”

“You wanna sit in the front?” I ask Janine as we get ready to head to the nearest Taco Bell following the Sabbath sunset service known as ‘Vespers.’

“Hanulfo can sit in the passenger seat. I’ll sit behind him where I can see your handsome profile,” Janine answers while climbing into the back seat of the Regal.

I fire up the 350, put the Buick into gear and we roll from the parking lot of the church out onto Santa Ana Canyon Road.

“Oh my!” Janine exclaims as we drive along. “I just looked at that scantily clad girl on the billboard there... And looked away quick and saw that cigarette ad across the street... It’s like God was telling me that when I’m at the beach in my string bikini and I’m all like this,” Janine strikes a sexy pose. “And enjoying having men looking at my body, that..., that is sin, and just like cigarettes..., sin equals death.”

“Amen Sister,” Hanulfo responds as we cross Imperial Highway. “Carnal pleasure is sin.”

Sitting in the Taco Bell, the three of us, just before we eat, at Janine’s request join hands and bow our heads in a small circle at our table. A few people notice this activity. Most of the customers are involved in their own meals and conversations. But Janine breaks into prayer affecting piety in a somewhat loud fashion. She’s being a so-called ‘witness’ to any non-Christians who may be present letting them know that the three of us are, indeed, Christians.

“...In Jesus’ name... Amen!” Janine finishes the prayer her voice bouncing around the joint. Hanulfo and I echo her ‘Amen.’

“Oh, I just feel so..., cleansed after being anointed by the elders today.” Janine is almost yelling now and a few people turn their heads. “It wasn’t easy talking about my problem... But I feel so refreshed and alive now...! Praise the Lord!”

“That reminds me, “I start in. “I have a special request for you guys to pray about for me... A problem I can’t seem to shake... And I think that because you two are spiritually bonded to me..., I can share it with you.”

“Whatever your problem is Brother, we will be by your side praying for you and the Lord Jesus shall lift you up,” Hanulfo responds.

“Well my problem is girl watching,” I jump right into it. “When I say ‘girl watching’ I mean lust... I need the Lord to put this behind me. Even young women at our church. You wouldn’t believe the filthy things I imagine doing with them.”

“We will be sure to keep you in our prayers,” Hanulfo promises, but Janine remains silent seeming uncomfortable regarding what I’ve just revealed about myself. This just after Janine having most likely given a homily, to the six elders of our church, on how much she enjoys fingering herself.

Photo by Amory Salas