Genocide - a true kitchen story

The corpses are testimony of the mayhem of the previous night. Black and ugly, with the once-gooey white intestines now dried to the floor, they looked like stickers. In one corner I could see a survivor inspecting the area. Flashbacks overwhelm me.

[ the night before ]

I have one weakness, I get the munchies at night and I go to sleep late. Ok, two weaknesses. So at 2 a.m I open the light to the kitchen hoping to find something delicious to eat. Calories don't count after midnight! FLASH! 3 pairs of antennas move and freeze for a second before the bugs start running around in a craze. HE IS HERE! HE IS HERE!! I can sense them sending distressed signals to the leaders.

Tonight, I am not looking for battle. It's Easter afterall so I want to be peaceful. I let them hide in corners, under the garbage, in dark spots where I can't reach them. I just want my peanut butter. I open the counter where I keep my stash and voila, one lost fella jumps on the floor and runs for his life. Oh well, I say, oh well....It's not that I'm not disgusted, it's that I am used to it. It's a bug's world, we're all just living in it, isn't that what they say? Sounds true.

I take my jar of peanut butter with me and turn off the light. I know that as I do that they'll go feasting again on the crumbles on the floor but if I don't see it, it does not bother me.

I push play on my Netflix queue and dig the spoon deep into the crunchy yummyness. This peanut butter is just right, 100% peanuts and no added sugars, a pinch of salt, every spoonful perfect. I enjoy the salty wholesome sensation while I watch my show but then...smth moves in my mouth. WTF?!
I try to swallow but it fights back, like the peanuts have come back alive and don't want to get eaten. I gag and spit all over my keyboard and run to open the light in my room. Now I see it..half bug, half peanut butter..squirming on my keyboard. Still alive, but half eaten. I feel like vomiting and a rage takes over me.

I go to the kitchen and turn on the light, this time ready with my bug-killing slippers. I shall have my revenge. As soon as I see them i jump on them, CRUSH! the biggest one dies in an instant. I see the second big one hiding behind a chair leg. "you're not too smart..." I think and lift the chair. It starts running in circles and squish it like a head of garlic. The smell of death hits my nose and I smirk. I LOVE THE SMELL OF DEAD BUGS AT MIDNIGHT.

I'm not done! I life every box and bottle on the kitchen finding ever more bugs hidden and kill kill kill them all. They are hard to kill these bastards, they'll keep moving even with their bodies cut and crushed and oozing disgusting liquid. Some, will die anyway, some..will get home and recover. I'm ok with that, a life of suffering for those unlucky enough to die is enough revenge for me.

I go back to my room and take the remains of the eaten bug and the jar to throw away. I am so sorry, there was enough left for me eat for a few nights but it's spoiled now. Before I throw it away an idea hits me: I take the still moving bug from the jar and put i on the floor, sticking it with a bit of peanut butter. Enjoy getting eaten twice! I laugh.

Only now I'm content. I go wash my teeth.

Right now, I check the damage again in the sunlight. Where's the bug that dared to invade my peanut butter? Nowhere to be seen...has he been cannibalized by his keens or somehow, against all odds, escaped? I dunno and as I sweep all their bodies and throw them in the garbage can, I know that this is a war of attrition. They'll come back, unnerved and relentless for the crumbles and dare to munch on any unsecured good left. And I will be here, ready to kill some more.

I'm sad that I'll get tired first, but I'm not tired yet. I am waiting.