Why You Should Go To a Psychologist and Break The Stigma

CW; Mention of Suicide, Mental health, Rape, Sexism

Everyone should see a psychologist sooner or later. It is a statement that I have long considered either false or at least exaggerated. Why would I need to see a therapist? I mean, only crazy or traumatized people need to see one, right?

I come from a family where psychology is considered a dark and strange practice. “Frauds or imposters practice it.” “Only the deranged or the self-pitying would go to see them, to be relieved from their worries”.
For the people really needing help, they will go through all therapies possible or even be sent to a “safer place” (asylum) for them. The “self-pitying” will be diagnosed with “wrong or non-present” disorders, such as autism or depression. After all, “psychologists make more money with the more patients they have and the longer they treat them”. “What could be better than keeping someone (who probably has no reason to be there) for an indeterminate period of time?”

You may have heard these statements from your parents or your friends or even strangers. It is unfortunately a widely spread idea. Strangely enough, none of them knows the basics of Psychology. They can barely give you a definition of what it is. Such ideas are harmful and prevent people with real issues (who are much more common that you might think, please read this article: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/mental-illness-is-far-more-common-than-we-knew/) from going to a psychologist, letting them suffer and be miserable for years, or even decades.

“What? My kid might be autistic because he prefers to spend time alone, is socially awkward, only learnt to speak at a later age, but has good grades in school? No, you are probably wrong, he is just a smart kid, a bit weird yes, but just a smart kid.” “My friend or relative has always been feeling down, is easily anxious, had a lot of panic/anxiety attacks and has always expressed dark thoughts. And you think they might have a major depressive disorder or something similar? Come on, they just need to be shaken a bit, to stop worrying and take pleasure in misery and just enjoy life.” Does this sound familiar?

Such horrible statements prevented more than one from going to a psychologist and be checked to see if everything was OK. Such people (I used to be one of them) live in denial of their problems and are being encouraged to act as such. It is further worsened by our society standards. The following statements are examples of what you might have heard, seen or even told :

• “You are feeling suicidal? You just want attention.”
• “You said you are fat? Then stop eating compulsively when you get worried you idiot.”
• “Oh, you feel miserable? For what? Because you cannot make friends, and are still a virgin because you do not know how to date? If you were less of an ashole and a loser, everything will work just fine. After all, everyone else has friends and fcks. Only a f*cking loser would not.”
• “You got r*ped or sexually assaulted? Get over it/You looked for it.”
• “She cries and lot and gets mad a lot? She is either snowflake or she is crazy.”
• “My child cannot be crazy. I mean, me and my partner are good people and we raised them well. They had everything they needed. They cannot have “problems” (in their eyes “being crazy”).”
• “You cannot show sympathy or weaknesses. Stop being overly sensitive.”

Of course, the list goes on. You might be the victim of such a horrible statement. If this is the case, please, stop thinking you are weak, stop denying your pain, stop lowering yourself, stop thinking that being broken or suffering is something that you should hide and be ashamed of. Please, allow yourself to be vulnerable and to say, “I am in pain and I need help”. Moreover, even in the case your psychologist tells you that you do not have anything, they can still give you advice and you will feel relieved.

You must be careful though. Many people who want to discourage you to go to a psychologist will tell you that there are fake psychologists who are after your money. This is partly true.

Some people who claim to be professional psychologists are unfortunately frauds. Their goal is only to make money and the health of their patients is minimal for them. The purpose is for the patient to never leave so they will be a good source of income for the fake psychologists. Fortunately, it is possible to uncover them. Indeed, depending on the country, a psychologist must check a certain amount of requirements before being legally recognized as a professional. For example, in the Netherlands, one must achieve two things to be a licensed psychologist:

• complete the Clinical Psychology Master’s curriculum
• complete a 2 years training post-studies to be registered as Health Care Psychologist or 4 years to be registered as Clinical Psychologist

Fake psychologists will be for example lacking the necessary training for their profession. A Clinical Psychologist can have only done the 2 years training for the Health Care Psychologist, or maybe they didn’t even do the post-graduate training. Some can even have not finished their studies. For these reasons, many fake psychologists will possess their own practice and call themselves with different names (e.g. therapists, psycho-therapists…), since calling themselves “psychologists” would be illegal.

These fake psychologists are the real danger, and you need to be careful. Going from a complete denial of mental health issues to a need for help found in a fake psychologist is something horrible. This is why it is very important to check a psychologist’s background and to see whether or not they are licensed and recognized by their peers.

To conclude, I have unfortunately been the victim to one of those fake psychologists. Fortunately, I got out before it was too late, and I learnt precious knowledge. But that is another story.