Others in My Body

sumber: instagram popustiart

When I feel alone, I do not wanna be anyone. I wanna forget the past and old ghost. Being others in my body. Though many people called me crazy. I care less. People can say anything about me. I will be more indifferent. I just wanna write forever. Until I get older and forget that I'm gone.

When I'm alone, I wanna be someone else in my body. The one who often wakes my nights and invites me to think about the content of the world. Sometimes I forget who I am. I do not even want to remember it. I do not wanna be me. I'm not myself. Something volatile kept coming and disturbing my mind.

While I am alone, I am happy. For solitude is different from loneliness. Though in itself, you will feel lonely. What's in it for being lonely? Nothing, I replied. Then loneliness asks me if I want to be its best friend. I will not answer. I just wanna be alone. Without feeling I became lonely. Not everything alone is lonely. Not all solitude is lonely.

I once thought about something, if one day I die, I do not wanna really die in the hearts of readers. I just wanna write for myself and the universe, irrespective of the fact that one day my name would be publicly known. No. I just scared it. I'm afraid of being known and famous. I do not wanna be anyone but others in my body.

After being others in my body, what am I going to do? I will do nothing but be aloof and remain others in my body. Tonight I'm not being others in my body. I'm just pondering. How if a person's fate is on a cliff and waiting for their time to die? I longed for death long ago. Maybe at there, I could meet someone I never dreamed of. Who? I also do not know. I just felt that I was not lonely in the middle of the night.

Don’t! Do not believe in anything I say! You just have to believe who you are. I'm no more than a sick person who looking for a way to back home. Oh, I want to go back to me. Home for my body and my journey.