STORY: MY FIRST CRUSH

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Joyce looked as if She had seen little green men drop from outer space. "What" she squealed, "Eketi, you mean you can really tell your mum that?".
"Of course I can. Why not? I can tell my mum anything."
So you can even talk to her about boy? She gave me a dubious stare. She didn't believe a word of what I was telling her.

"Why do you even need to talk about things like this? If you like a boy and he does not like you back,you should just forget about it. There is need to tell anybody." Really, Like the way you forgot James? You think I don't know he is the reason you joined the drama club.

"Drama club? But you know I love acting and I will do anything to be a movie star like Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Lopez, Omotola Jalade, and Genevieve Nnaji. Soon,I will own my talk show.
Joyce's outburst moved no fly. I folded my arms and watched the acting. When she woke up from her movie dreams, I kept mute and stared at her. Okay you win. But I can't imagine going to tell my mum that I like a boy.

The recess was over and most of our JSS2 classmates were already returning. I moved closer to Joyce and gave her our reduce your voice signal. She smiled knowingly.

Joyce was my best friend,and she sat next to me in class. Although I was a year younger than her thirteen years,most people called us twins because we were inseperable and looked alike. " I don't understand why you are so surprised," my voice was almost a whisper now. "I always tell my mum everything because she listens to me. Once I get home today,I will tell her about Michael."

"And she won't yell at you?"
"No,my mum doesn't yell at anyone. She didn't yell when I told her I wanted to marry my cousin,Gabriel,so she won't yell now. I trust her."

Joyce's loud chuckles drew the attention of our classmates. Michael was standing beside Christobel's desk and whispering into her ear while she giggled. I felt my heart do a few back flips. Why was Christobel the only person he played with in class? Did he love her? My heart beat faster as jealousy overtook reasoning.

Michael was the cutest boy I'd ever seen. His Father was Nigerian and his Mother British. We called him half-caste. His baby like skin,dark curly hair,and handsome face captivated me,and I wanted to be around him all the time. But,he always did mean things to me such as pulling my hair,running away with my schoolbag,and pinching me. Still,I loved him. I often dreamt about how we would get married and have beautiful children.

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Why was Michael interested in Christobel,and not me? Didn't he know that I loved him? I tore my gaze away from Michael and smiled. "I was only seven then. I told my mum and she suggested I give it some time,to wait until I was older,and if I still felt that way,then I could marry him. But,of course I grew older and realised what a silly idea it was."

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Mrs Princeton,our literature teacher came in,so we had to drop our discussion and we didn't get another chance to talk. When I got home that evening,I told my mum that I was in love and ready to marry Michael. "I thought Michael is the half-caste boy who bullies you?" If mum was shocked at my confession,she didn't show it. We were in the kitchen,about to prepare dinner together as we always did. "Yes,but I still love him. Mum,he is very cute and funny. I really love him a lot."

Mum smiled as she went to the sink to wash her hands. Then she turned off the gas cooker. "Come with me," she said,taking my hand and leading me out of the kitchen. When we got to my bedroom,she took out my dictionary from the bookshelf and sat down on my bed. 'Come sit with me,Eketi,she patted a spot on the bed beside her. Here,she handed me the dictionary when I sat down, "look up the word love and read the definition carefully. Then,look up for infatuation too. When you are done reading,I want you to tell me the difference between the two words,"Okay mum." I went to work even though I had no idea why we were suddenly having a vocabulary class.

As I read the definitions over and over,I discovered that while love was described as a long lasting and intense affection for someone,infatuation or crush was described as an intense and foolish,but temporary passion for someone. Foolish and temporary stood out like scarecrows in a cornfield. When I told mum my feelings,she smiled and patiently explained the difference between both emotional states.

"Would you want to marry him today,knowing that you may feel the same way next month?" I thought about it. "No,I wouldn't." She put the dictionary aside and took my hand in hers. Eketi,I know you think you are in love with him,but you just have a crush. Your feelings are not even based on his character. You only like Michael because he is a fine boy. Believe me,sweetheart,when you are infatuated,you do a lot of silly things.

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I am not going to tell you what to or what not to do,but I would advise you to wait until you are older and wiser. Then you can talk about falling in love. I must have looked unconvinced because she paused,put her arm around my shoulder,and went on. "Do you remember cousin Gabriel?" I nodded,smiling as I remembered what I had shared earlier with Joyce.

"You trusted me then when I told you to wait. You can still trust me now when I say you aren't ready for love. Your feelings for this boy are only temporary and will soon fade away."
"Okay," I said reluctantly,does that mean that Michael has a crush on Cristobel just as I have for him? He is always whispering in her ears and making her laugh. Do boys also have crushes?
Mother laughed. *"Yes dear, it happens to boys also. And as you already know,a crush is a temporary romantic attraction,especially among teens. Michael might think he likes Cristobel now,but soon he will realise that he likes several people as well. This same thing will happen to you and your friends.

That is why we generally advise teens to wait until they are older and more mature. Though I wasn't happy that I wasn't going to marry Michael just yet,I was willing to trust my mother once again. I asked her what I could do to make the feelings go away so I could stop doing silly things whenever I saw Michael.

It is important never to act on a crush,she explained,the best way to get over it is to ignore it. Stay away from Michael as much as you can. As if she saw the frown on my heart,she quickly added, "You could also pray that God would help you overcome it."

The next day,Joyce couldn't wait to hear how things went with mum. After I gave her the full gist,she was even more excited. "Wow!" Eketi,you are so lucky to have a mother you can talk to about anything. I think I know what to do about my feelings for James now. Talking to your mum was really helpful. At least now I don't have to listen to anyone anymore. We laughed. *"If you catch me staring too long or talking too much about Michael,pinch me,okay? Just a little. I will do the same way for you with James.

We roared with laughter because Michael entered the class and I began staring. That was ten years ago and I didn't know I would still be laughing when I recently stumbled on a letter I wrote to Michael. Memories tickled me as I read it.

Dearest Michael,

How are you doing? I hope that you are fine. I am also fine and doing well too. There is something that I wanted to tell you and since I don't like wasting time,I will go straight to the point. We have been friends for a long time and I want to tell you that I like you. Yes I do. And the only reason I am writing this letter is because I know you like me too. So if you want to be my special friend,no problem. But even if you don't want to be,no problem too. I just wanted you to know,just in case you think that I don't like you. I do.