Dear Pops (A Letter To My Deceased Grandfather)

nicoledphoto (62)in #story • 8 years ago

Dear Pops,

It's been five years. Five years to the day since you left me. I know that sounds selfish but thats how it feels most days, that you left me. I wasn't ready for you to go, I had many more things I wanted to do with you and memories I wanted to create with you.

I was a sophomore in college when you passed, I don't know if you remember that, I know your memory wasn't that good at the end. I graduated with Bachelors in Animal Science from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville in 2015. I knew you would love that, you were always a huge Tennessee Volunteer Football fan. I didn't go to vet school like you wanted because I found out that I love working with chickens, and I just couldn't stand to see sick pups and kitties all day long in an office. College was hard but I did it, I knew I couldn't let you down and give up, especially on the days that were really tough for me.

I never got the chance to thank you for all that you did for me. You supported me, you showed me the world that no one could and you lived life in such a full way it's something I will always look up to. You made people happy, you were such a happy person and you had such a positive impact on so many people's lives.

I picked up a camera because of you. I love old hot rods because of you. I found a place in my heart for cheesy romantic ideas and concepts. You taught me how to be a giver, even if it was your last dollar. You taught me that animals will always love you and be your best friend.

Most of all you taught me that good things come to an end.

The last day that I saw you, you cried on my shoulder about how you didn't live enough during your lifetime. It was a horrible feeling to realize you had forgotten all the amazing and interesting things you had done with your life. You traveled the world,went to Egypt and Rome, you were a taxi driver in Chicago, and you worked for the Air Force for years. That was the moment that I realized how important photography was going to be for me, I was able to show you photos of the places you had been and the things you had seen and you remembered. You couldn't remember my name but you started to remember your own life and thats all that mattered. I didn't want you to leave this world without knowing that you really, truly lived.

I never realized how hard this was going to be for me for write this down. It still hurts just as bad as it did the day I found out.

I met a guy, you would love him. He's into photography like me and he's got a great sense of humor. He LOVES cars just like you, we go to car shows on weekends and it reminds me of how you and I used to go together. I wish you could have met him.

I'm thankful every day that you were in my life as long as you were. I don't know who I would have become with out you. I miss you more then I can put into words and I wish everyday that you were still here. Thank you for showing me how to not be a quitter, how to be a stubborn ass (because thats what you were), and how to be a lover. You will always be my number one angel watching over me.

I LOVE YOU.