Hey there, having read your story I have a number of things I would like to comment on. First of all the start was rather captivating, except for a glaring mistake where you used meander and not saunter,; this piece was pretty good.

That said, I had a number of issues with it. First of all, the story never really took off for me. This had to do with the encounter with Athena. I am not seeing the purpose behind the meeting. Also, what are the chances that a hobo looking guy would have a woman like that come sit beside him and have a conversation. It seems so unlikely and the story has not justified the encounter.

His homeless aquaintance was also pushed into the background. This is fine, but why was he put in the story in the first place. He does not seem to be serving any purpose. If you are thinking of a rewrite seek to address these things. Remember, an encounter should be doing several things. I am not seeing where anything is being done with these meet ups.

There are other things I would love to talk about, but that is it for now.