Toilette Humor

in #story8 years ago

One of the first things you “learn” when you start doing multi-pitch climbing, hell, it's one of the first things you learn when you go to the big outdoors, is know the way down, know the way out. Well sometimes, the exit seems trivial before you start the route and only when you finish do you realize you should have spent a little more time doing your homework.
Now some of you might not know it, but neither of us have a driver's license, so you can say we are public transport adventurers, going where people have consistently gone before. This makes traveling to “exotic” locations a bit cumbersome, but when there is a will there is a way. Our exotic local this time was Hohewand. For those of you who don't know it, it is pretty touristic. You can drive to the top, there is a viewing deck, a restaurant, everything you need for the average city dweller to have an outdoors experience. Thus, the way down after a nice climb must be a piece of cake, right?
So, before presenting you that cake you are probably wondering how did we get there? There's a bus, it leaves the last major train stop quite early and arrives at Hohewand at a reasonable time. Problem is it does not run on Sundays and its last trip is way too early in the day on Saturday. So we can get there but, we don't really have a way back. Our solution, take a 5 km hike to the nearest town with a train station. The last train leaves at 21:00, so it should not be a problem to make it, right? Right?
Let us skip through the climbing part, its boring. Why? Everything went smoothly. Who wants to hear about that. We even had way more than enough time to make the train 5km away. We are at the top of Hohewand ready to walk down, but we don't know how to, oops. I guess the attitude, its touristic therefore it should be easy need not always apply. In retrospect, there were obvious indications towards the “right” way down, but for some reason we ignored them. We ended up finding the trail markers. One color is bright and friendly and the other is faded and dirty. Obviously, the latter is the right choice, or more correctly, the faster choice, if not the fastest sans jumping off the cliff.
Slowly on the way down the markers are more and more faded, harder to find, and then they are gone. But, we see a “trail”, so we follow it. This trail gets steeper and steeper, it is getting darker and darker. Finally, we find a marker that shows we are on the right path!! A piton. Ok, that obviously shows we are on the wrong path, but it is a path down at least. Now we are free soloing some pretty easy trail. This is probably the worst situation to be in when trying to rush for a train 5km away. Actually, it is not the worst yet, now it starts raining. Luckily I made it to the bottom before the rocks got too slippery to walk on, but my partner did not. Though, no worries, I just free-soloed back up the wet rocks and we both abseiled down.
Now wet and tired we check the time, 21:00, we missed the train. We call the local pensions and they are all full. Though we remember the campsite we saw on the way up to the route. Incidentally, at the site we met another group stranded with no place to sleep. They took the display tent as refuge, a weird choice but I guess better than nothing. The next train is at 7:00 and we need to do something for the next 9 hours. We try to cuddle up at a table at the campsite to stay warm, but even the summer wind at night bites with a mild winter frost. Then my partner comes up with the great idea of sleeping in the campsite toilette. I thought she was joking at first but she did not smile. Instead she reminded me that there are heaters in them.
It is now around 00:00 and we are sleeping in the toilette of a campsite. It is our most romantic night since meeting. I just wish we had marshmallows to roast over the electric heater. Her plan worked, I felt consciousness waxing and waning. Then around 2:00 we get a wake up call. comes up with the great idea of sleeping in the campsite toilette. I thought she was joking at first but she did not smile. Instead she reminded me that there are heaters in them.
It is now around 00:00 and we are sleeping in the toilette of a campsite. It is our most romantic night since meeting. I just wish we had marshmallows to roast over the electric heater. Her plan worked, I felt consciousness waxing and waning. Then around 2:00 we get a wake up call.

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